Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate
by Breadaknee
Summary: Sometimes the higher-ups in the sky like to screw with people. Mainly me. All the time. So why am I surprised when I somehow, mysteriously, get sucked into my favorite video game? Your guess is as good as mine. Shameless self-insert fic. Rewritten, babay.
1. Prologue: Hot Pixels

_Hey, everybody! Look who's back!! Yeah yeah yeah, I know it's been a long time. But, no worries! I'm here with the rewritten version of that awful crap story I was writing like, two years ago._

_Here's the thing with the rewritten version: the chapters are longer, better written (I think), and humorous (again, I think). Maybe. It depends on what you crazy cats think is funny. Oh, and if you don't like curse words and crap like that, then don't be offended. Bad language doesn't dominate this story, but it's still there. And you know how Ashley was just kinda pushed aside so that Brittanee can shine? Well, that ain't happenin' this time around. Ashley shines like the bright, glittering star that she is. I even gave her a damn personality, for Pete's sake! Really, who likes to have a little whiney girl (who is supposed to be like, 20, mind you) follow you around helplessly? Hah, **RE4:TF** Ashley is going to kick **RE4 the Game** Ashley's butt._

_AND NO MORE MARY-SUEish Brittanee! YAAAAY! Clap, dance, do whatever it is that you do to celebrate. Because this little tidbit of information is worth celebrating over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. __Woooo, there's almost too much excitement floating around here! Hah, you all are supposed to laugh at this. This is me trying to be funny and sarcastic. FAILFAILFAIL._

_**Why write a self-insert fic? **Because I effing can. You don't like self-inserts? Then why the heck did you click on this story anyway?! It says **"shameless self-insert fic" **right in the summary! It's not my problem you can't read! Nah, I'm just kidding with you. I'm not being mean, really. But seriously, if you're annoyed by self-inserts, then just walk away. Grab a virtual cookie on your way out, they are rather delicious! __For all you other rad-awesome peeps out there who enjoy reading self-insert fics, STAY TUNED. It's going to get all self-inserty up in here. And don't forget to grab a virutal cookie on your way in. Cookies are gooooood._

_I know this is getting long, but I have like, two more things to say. Or type. Which ever. After you begin to read (or reread) this, you'll notice that I have changed some things, left things the same, and totally just deleted parts out in general. Believe me: I ripped this story to shreds and rearranged all the scraps so it'll look pretty and read better. I worked hard, dang it! _

_And I realllllly like reviews. They are like chocolate. I freaking love chocolate, man. So review and tell me what you think. I like constructive criticism. Hey, even if all you gotta say is, "HOLY CRAP AWESOME!" **THEN REVIEW IT!!!** Flames? Personally, I think flames are uneeded insults. If you don't like, don't read. If you have something to say about the story or the way it's written, offer some advice; just don't insult the writer. That's rude and unneccesary. It wastes the flamer's time and the writer's time._

_So..now that all of that is outta the way, may I present to you the first rewritten piece of **Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**. The prologue is supa short, but I'm hoping to update the first chapter in the next few days. Maybe Wednesday? Let me know when you all wanna read it. ;)_

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Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**

**Prologue – Hot Pixels**

"Oh yeah! Take that, El Gigante! You ugly ogre!" I pumped a fist in the air, excited that I defeated the plaga infested giant. Seriously, I was…addicted to this game. It was starting to feel like a crazy obsession or something. Especially playing as Leon, that adorable little agent.

"Brittanee!" My mother half-yelled upon entering my room. She could have knocked…. "Are you ready for school yet? You are going to be late if you don't stop playing that ridiculous game of yours."

I sighed. Mother could be so naïve at times. "I'm getting a ride with you, remember?" I told her, slightly rolling my eyes as I unpaused my game.

She made a slight 'tsk' sound with her tongue upon seeing me shoot a Ganado in the face. "That grotesque game will corrupt your mind, Brittanee." A pause. "But _wow!_ That protagonist does have a nice-"

"Ass?" I interrupted "Yes, Leon _does _have a hot pixilated behind. I'm going to marry his butt one day."

My mom sighed heavily. "Can't you be normal and ogle _real_ men for once? You know he's just a fictional character, right?"

"The only reason I'm not normal," I shot a random villager's foot, "is because you're the one who gave birth to me."

"How sweet of you, dear," my mother snipped as she rolled her eyes and left the room.

And _excuse me_ for only liking fictional male video game characters. It wasn't my fault that real guys couldn't compare to the awesomeness. I had half the mind to go rip my mother a new one, but yeah, I decided against that idea because she would have probably chopped my head off. I rather enjoyed my head attached to my body, thank you very much.

"_Brittanee!_ Let's go, NOW!"

I sighed, "Ugh, coming!"

_School is such a drag._

After turning off my _Playstation Two_ console, I traveled down the stairs and through the front door onto the porch. The sun was shining beautifully despite how early it was, but the chilly air still nipped at my exposed skin. I started hopping (yes, _hopping_, because I'm just that cool) down the stairs, basking in the sunlight, but soon remembered that I had forgot to grab my purse.

"Ehhh…so lazy," I mumbled, not wanting to go back inside to get the stupid thing. Of course I had to forget something! And knowing me, I was going to take my sweet time getting it. Then my mom could really complain about being late. Heck, she wasn't even outside yet, for crying out loud! If I hadn't forgotten my purse, I would have probably waited longer for her to get her butt outside than she had to wait for me!

Well, there was no use beating around the bush. So I shrugged lamely and turned on my heel quickly, stepping on the top stair. I, being the klutz that I was, had forgotten that one of the wooden planks making up the top step was loose and I, unfortunately, stepped on said loose plank. Naturally, with my bad luck, I tripped, stifling the scream that came with it.

Oh what a beautiful day this was ending up to be.

I started falling backwards, awaiting the horrible pain that would soon come from landing on solid concrete. You know, it would have been a lot easier to fall _forward_ instead of backwards. That way I didn't have to break my back (exaggeration) and not be able to walk for a whole damn week (not an exaggeration). I could have fallen forwards on my knees and whined about it for a couple of hours and then be done with it. But _noooo_, of course not!!!

So when the pain never came and I kept falling, I knew something wasn't right. Where the heck was the sidewalk? Where in the world was my mother? Why wasn't my back broken yet?

Maybe it was because I was _still falling backwards!_

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_Holy colored pencils, I forgot the disclaimer! **I DON'T OWN. ANYTHIIIIIIING!!!! **_

_Okay, that's better. :)_

_Chat with ya later, my little readers._


	2. Chapter One: Thieving From the Village

_Yaaaay! I've decided to just get on with it and update. People really can't get a feel of this rewritten story by just reading that short prologue. Chapter One is a little slow, but the next chapter is a lot better and has some...odd humor in it. Heh, it doesn't help much that I have such weird taste in humor._

_Right now I'm working on Chapter Four, which is almost halfway rewritten. I can't wait for you guys to read the later chapters, I think you'll like them a lot better now. After two years of being on this site, I think I've improved a lot on my writing. It's not as bland and mundane. I've kinda adopted a more sarcastic style of writing, and I think it compliments me well. So, yeah. Enough of that crap._

_I really hope some of you out there are reading this. :) I really just write for myself, but I like to share my work with others too! So please drop a review when you're done reading and tell me what you think! Hate it? Love it? Advice? I'm all for it! Except for flames._

_Flames can die._

_Seriously. I'm not even kidding._

_Gah, stupid disclaimer. You'd think them higher-ups would KNOW that I don't own this since I'm writing fanfiction. Sometimes...** Well, anyway, I don't own anything. Except a B. Spears CD (I actually own two, nyuknyuk) and some lotion gloves (mmmmm soft hands!).**_

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**Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**

**Chapter One – Thieving from the Village…and Farm?**

My voice was growing hoarse from all of the screaming I was doing. How long had I been falling? A few minutes? Hours? Days? No…it couldn't have been days. Well, maybe it was days, but knowing me, I was probably just exaggerating the time. I was starting to get frightened-slash-annoyed-slash-pissed off. I was falling in a pitch black abyss all by myself… This was definitely _not_ normal. I had a few choice words for the psychiatrist I was going to hire when I got home.

And suddenly hazy gray swallowed up the black void of nothing-ness.

"_OW!_" I whimpered as I fell on my butt. I got up and shook my fist at the dull, gray sky, grumbling. "Where am I?" I cried out, tears forming in my eyes. Despite my anger at whatever happened, I was still frightened.

As I fought back the tears, I quickly brushed myself off and took in the sights before me. To my right was a run-down barn where a sickly looking cow stood, staring at me with wide-eyes. Did the poor thing have like, mad cow disease or what?

And something smelled…putrid. It smelled of death, decay and burning…

_Ohmygawd._

To my right was a huge fire, its orange-yellow flames licking the body of a very familiar looking police officer…impaled on a rather large hook in the middle of said fire. I gagged, covering my mouth with both of my hands. _**Where was I?**_

I think I was going to be sick…I was going to faint…

_Wait a minute…am I…._

"Allí está!"

I turned around slowly to see an ugly looking man. It looked as though he hadn't showered in weeks. He was pointing at me, pure malice evident in his eyes. Many angry screams and points registered from the men and woman behind the man who was pointing at me, taunting me.

And then it suddenly clicked.

I was in the village. The village Pueblo.

The buildings, the atmosphere. It all fit. The eeriness of it all, the gray sky; it was just like the game. How did I not see this sooner?

Oh, right.

I was distracted by the roasting corpse.

_Ugh…stay calm, Brittanee. At least it isn't you on that hook._

My eyes went wide as something grabbed a hold of my arm tightly, bruising it. I let out a painful cry as I ripped my arm away, hugging it to my chest. The group of villagers was surrounding me now, giving me knowing smirks. My heart started racing as my flight-or-fight response kicked in due to the adrenaline rushing through my veins. I darted to the left, but there was a wall of villagers blocking my way out of the circle they had me stuck in. I felt like I was being hunted, like I was their prey just waiting to be killed.

There was no way that was going to happen. I wanted to live past my seventeen years of life, if possible.

With this settled, I darted to the right, squeezing through two woman who took a few swings at me with their…kitchen…knives? Luckily I was quick enough not to get hit.

Thank goodness I was a fast runner.

My breathing hitched and I yearned for my legs to move faster as I heard the many villagers scream and mutter nasty and rather vulgar Spanish phrases directed towards me. Flying projectiles that were rather sharp and could easily slice my head off or injure me tremendously flew passed me, missing me by mere inches. They were so close that I could actually feel the wind on my face as they whirred passed me.

_Too close for comfort._

I turned a corner around a house, tears prickling my eyes. Why was this happening to me? What did I do to possibly deserve this?

_**Maybe it was because that one time you-**_

_SHUT UP!!!_

My thoughts were disturbed when I ran into a villager, definitely male. "Oof!"

Without hesitation, the man grabbed me by my waist, picked me up, and swung me over his shoulder like a limp rag doll. The tears that swelled in my eyes were free-falling now; I was unable to stop them any longer. "Le-Let go of m-me!" I screeched, my voice cracking. I tried punching his back and kicking his chest, but it didn't seem to faze him at all.

I was literally screwed.

_Mom, I love you. Even though we act like bitches to each other sometimes, I know we both understand that it is all in good fun. And I wanted to let you know that those really cute cork wedges that you thought you lost…well, you didn't exactly misplace them. I stole them and they are now safely hidden in my closet. Sorry._

_**BAM!**_

The sound left my ears ringing, forcefully ripping me out of my morbid thoughts about my last words I would have said to my mother if I had the chance. Before I knew it, I was falling towards the ground as the man below me groaned and began to tumble down. Right as he hit the dirt, his body began to disintegrate. I shuffled away from the sickening site, my eyes wide and my mouth agape.

I crawled away from it, wiping away tears and trying to settle on my feet at the same time, but without luck. A gloved hand appeared before my eyes, causing me to let out a small squeak. I looked up to see no other than Leon Scott Kennedy himself. I stared at him, ogled. He was even better looking in real life. If you could even call this real life.

_Now's not the time to relish on how good he looks, Brittanee._

"Leo- I mean! Thank…you!"

_Nice going there, idiot._

He looked at me weirdly before saying, "Come on, let's get through this in once piece, okay?"

I nodded as I wiped the tears from my eyes. He quickly grabbed my hand, pulling me up to my feet. He pulled me by the hand back around the house, the villagers finally noticing our reentrance. He started shooting his pistol, my ears ringing from the close proximity of the sound. The villagers were slowly closing in on us, and it looked as though Leon didn't have much ammo left. He looked at his gun and cursed, angry that his precious weapon was letting him down.

My eyes frantically scanned the buildings behind the many manic villagers, looking for an escape. When I laid eyes on the house that contained the shotgun in the game, I yelled, "In that house!" I pointed to it, hoping Leon would catch on. He raised an eyebrow, but quickly grabbed my hand. We darted between the weapon-yielding Ganados, some trying to latch on to my arm and yanking at my shirt. Leon elbowed most of them; even punching some in the face. I stared, shocked and amazed.

As soon as I got through the threshold of the doorway, I turned around and slammed the door shut. Leon went to a small window, his pistol still in hand. "Who are these people and what are they planning?"

_**Vrrrrr…Vrrrrr…Vrrroooom!**_

"Oh, _great_. A chainsaw," The agent deadpanned. He glanced around him, eyeing a brown dresser. He shoved it against the front wooden door, blocking one of the many entrances into the house.

There was a crash upstairs. I knew full well that a window had broken. "Shit," The blonde man cursed, grabbing my hand as he sprinted up the stairs, me following close behind him, my heart racing.

Leon skidded to a halt in front of the shotgun hanging on the wall. He quickly ripped it off the hooks, while I proceeded to the broken window. I looked out the window; villagers were already climbing up the ladder.

_Okay, just knock it down, Brittanee. These people are long gone; you are doing them a favor. It's not like they are going to die from falling off a ladder. Just do it._

I let out a grunt as I attempted to push the ladder down. It didn't really move much. I growled and finally ended up kicking it.

There. Now it was down.

Muffled screams could be heard from the men and women who fell off said ladder. "Take that," I yelled at them. How dare they break open a window and proceed to break in the house Leon and I were taking refuge in.

Wait- okay, never mind. This wasn't even our house. We were the ones trespassing.

_Stupid!_

I turned around to see Leon shooting out the other window on the second floor. I ran passed the bed, seeing a green box sitting on the blood covered mattress. I stopped and turned on my heels, almost falling down, but I grabbed the bed post just in time. _Gah, I'm such a klutz! _After I lifted myself up, I grabbed the now declared box of shotgun shells and high-tailed it over to Leon who was already jumping over the window sill. There was the sound of wood being broken coming from downstairs, implying that the door was finally broken down.

Or obliterated by a chainsaw. Either way, I wasn't going to stay in that house a moment longer to find out.

"Let's go," He yelled hurriedly over the screams, shouts, and the whirring of the chainsaw. I did what I was told, climbing over the window as fast as I could; hearing footsteps behind me.

"Yahhh!" There was a gush of wind that hit the back of my neck, making my eyes go wide. Was that…?

"Get down!"

I shot down like a rocket, doing what Leon ordered, not wanting my head attempted to be chopped off for the second time. He aimed his shotgun and fired, the blast ringing through my ears. There was a grunt and I heard a _thump_ coming from behind me. I dared to peek a look behind my shoulder; the chainsaw-wielding man was laying face-down not even two feet away from me.

I screamed. Loud.

Someone grabbed my shoulder and my fist connected with a muscular chest. I looked up to see Leon, looking down on me, worry in his eyes. He gave out a soft grunt, not really affected by the punch I attempted to throw at him. "Get off this roof and run for it, okay?"

I simply nodded, giving him an apologetic look and started running after I heard him fire another shot. I stopped abruptly when I reached the edge of the roof, almost falling. With my heart racing and my body shaking, I took a giant leap over the edge.

_What the hell am I doing?!_

Well, I guess if Leon could jump out of windows higher off the ground then this and still live and not break any bones, I guess I could jump off a roof. In a game. With manic parasitic-containing organisms deathly committed to killing me.

Yeah.

My life sucks.

It was as if it all went in slow motion. The wind rushed through my hair as I inched closer and closer to the ground. My heart literally sank into my stomach, leaving me breathless.

This was a really stupid idea. _Stupid, times two._

Once I hit the ground, pain shot through my legs, making me cry out. I then began to roll a couple of times before stopping on my stomach, fully shocked. I crawled a few paces until I found my footing. I started running again, but tripped and landed face first in the dirt, right next to the bonfire. I fixed the position of my glasses that were, luckily, unscathed. I squeaked and back-shuffled away from the flames and finally stood up, shaking.

Hopefully Leon didn't see that.

It took my whole being to not look at the body in the fire as I sprinted past it, even though nothing was chasing me. Everyone was probably focusing their attention on the agent. Which was good, he had a gun. I didn't.

I gagged as I wiped my mouth off with my hands, trying to get the dirt off. I didn't even notice the male villager standing there, staring at me until I barreled right into him. He grunted as I stumbled back, rubbing my head. "Just great," I mumbled as I looked at the dirty villager, who was still recovering from the blow to the gut. _Oh great…What the heck do I do? I don't have a weapon. Do I…punch him? Kick him? Yeah, let's go with both._

I ran at him, full speed. His eyes widened as I attempted a spin kick on him. "Brittanee Kick of Doom!" I kicked him in the gut as hard as I could, which knocked him to his knees. "Uh…eat…this?" I half-asked, half-said trying to sound threatening as I punched him square in the jaw. The man groaned and fell face first into the ground. Pain crawled up my arm as I shook my hand and then cradled it. That probably hurt me worse than it did him.

Suddenly, I was on the ground, something latched to my ankle.

_Ow. Ow. Ow. Will my legs and feet ever get a break?_

It was the man I just punched in the face. He had grabbed my left foot and pulled me down. Did I injure him enough to not be able to get up? He was clawing at my leg, which was seriously freaking me out. I didn't think my heart would ever go back to its normal pace after this experience.

"Give me back my ankle you dirty old man!" I shouted, kicking him in the face. He let me go, and I quickly got to my feet, a slight dulling pain throbbing in my left foot.

Adrenaline quickly re-pumped itself through my veins, making me react without thinking. I took my right foot and brought it down on the man's head, repeating the process another three times before he died and freakishly disintegrated into the ground in a sick brown and yellow mess.

I stood there, staring at the spot the villager disappeared at for quite some time, hearing a bell toll in the distance. Before I knew it, villagers were walking past me, dropping their weapons one by one and slightly brushing their shoulders against mine. I didn't really pay attention to them; I was still staring at the spot where the villager disintegrated.

**I killed a man.**

_Yes, but a man who was being controlled by a parasite, _My conscious reminded me, _you had no choice but to protect yourself. It was self-defense, remember that._

It still didn't make me feel any better.

The large iron door with the red insignia on it slammed shut, awakening me from my daze. I jumped as I heard a loud _thump_ coming from behind me.

"Heh. Where'd everyone go? Bingo?"

I probably would have laughed at that corny little joke, but I didn't really think it was appropriate due to my current situation.

Even though that was one of my favorite lines in the game.

Corny little Leon.

There was a beep, and then some cackling before Leon spoke again.

"Hunnigan. I have some bad news. I've confirmed the body of an officer. Something's happened to the people here."

"Leon, you need to get out of there. Look for a tower and follow the trail near it."

"Got it. And one more thing. I found a girl earlier; she was being chased by the villagers here."

"Ashley?"

I turned around to see Leon shake his head 'no'. "She isn't. She looks younger."

"You know what your main objective is, correct?"

"Of course."

"Don't let _anything_ get in your way of saving the President's daughter."

My eyes went wide and my mouth practically fell to the ground. Was that Ingrid woman being serious? Did she think I wasn't worth saving? Oh, well, I was soooo going to show her. Before Leon could say anything, I grabbed the communicator out of his hand and held it outwards. "_Excuse me?_"

She pushed up her glasses, looking flustered. "Uh…Well, it has come to my attention that Leon rescued you."

"You could say that," I replied. "What's it to you?"

"He has a top secret mission to uphold. He needs to stay focus and doesn't have time for unneeded distractions."

_Unneeded distractions?_

"It's not really top secret anymore, now is it? And isn't standing here and arguing with _you_ an unneeded distraction? I think I'm going to hang up now…"

I tossed the device over to the agent, who caught it with one hand. He looked at me, shocked or amazed or even amused. I didn't really know. After he began _quietly_ talking to Ingrid, I began my trek up the small hill leading to the farm. Screw that woman. I could easily take care of myself. All I needed to do was get my hands on a weapon…and learn how to use said weapon.

Sigh.

Footsteps closed in on me, and a gloved hand gently grabbed my shoulder. I wasn't frightened this time, knowing full well who it was. "Yes?"

"She wants to talk to you," Leon said.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatevs." I reached for the communicator and held it up. "What?"

"What is your name?" Hunnigan asked, her eyes boring out of the screen at me.

"Brittanee," I said, putting extra emphasis on the '_a_'_ s_o it sounded like Britt-_uh_-nee. "What's yours?"

She ignored my question. Oh well, I knew her name anyway. "I think it is in your best interest-"

I rolled my eyes, letting out a very dramatic, aggravated sigh. "Listen here, _lady_. I don't care what you think. Okay? I just killed a guy with my foot; I'm in no mood for rude people like you. And I don't _even know how I got here!_ It was like- one minute I'm on my way to school and the next- _I'm in this village._" I was on the verge of tears…again.

"Wait. _What?_ Killed a man with your foot?" Leon asked, shocked.

I waved my hand and held back my tears, dismissing the subject. "Anyway, that's not the deal. The deal is that you don't think I'm worth saving."

The woman's eyes went wide, her mouth forming an 'o' shape. "No, I didn't mean it like that.... I mean…uh…Of course you are worth saving. It's just that…"

"The President's daughter is more important," I finished. "Oh, I get it. Just because my dad doesn't rule the country means I'm just a huge nobody."

"Okay," Leon cut in, "I think Brittanee should just stay with me from now on. I'll make sure she stays safe while rescuing Ashley as well. Got it?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Good."

"Hmph," Ingrid grunted. "Fine. But this mission…is _top secret_. You mustn't tell anyone when you get home, got that?"

"Yeah," I said. "Got it."

"And where are you from? You don't sound European. America?"

I nodded. "Yup, the U. S. of A."

"Okay. Now follow that trail, Leon and I'll try to dig up more information about how Brittanee suddenly appeared here on my end as well. Ingrid out."

Leon hung up the communicator a few seconds later. I was already walking towards the doors leading to the farm, not waiting for him to catch up. I would show both of them just how I can protect myself. That Ingrid woman wasn't this rude in the game, at least I thought…

"Hey! Brittanee? Wait up."

I stopped mid-stride, placing my hands on my hips. I wanted to leave this village pronto. Those fools would probably be back soon after finding out that the bell was rung to distract them. _Yeah, go Ada. I'm throwing confetti for you._

He finally caught up with me, jogging as slow as possible.

Wait. How can you jog as slow as possible?

Shaking my head to get rid of my confusing thoughts, I continued walking ahead. "Wait! Where are you going? I want to search the village for anything useful."

I let out a sigh, rolling my eyes as I turned around. "I'm not gonna be here when those freaks get back. I'm leaving with or without you."

Leon raised an eyebrow, frowning. "And just how will you go on surviving without a weapon?"

My eyes scanned the ground, stopping at a discarded axe lying abandoned. "Hey," I picked up the sharp object, "look. I can use this and act like them and maybe they won't come after me."

He chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile. "You aren't seriously going to use that, are you?"

I rubbed my chin, debating whether or not I was actually going to use the axe as a potential weapon. "Yeah, I think I am. Now let's go ransack this here village!"

_____________

After we were doing searching the small village or "thieving from the village" as I liked to call it, we continued to the green doors leading to the farm. I waited for Leon to shoulder the double doors open before following him through.

The farm was even more eerie in real life (if it really was real life) then it was in the game. It seriously freaked me out. Well, at least there wasn't any creepy background music to accompany the creepy atmosphere. That would have been really creepy.

_Ugh._ I was overusing the word creepy.

Leon signaled me to stop, which I did. He continued into the farm, pistol in hand. "Stay here, okay? If anything happens, yell for me," He said over his shoulder. I simply nodded and swung my axe forward and back, bored. Then I started acting like it was a pair of nun chucks. Oh, yeah, I had _major_ skills.

_Hah._

Leon disappeared behind a chipped green barn, gun shots following suit soon after. I flinched at the noise. Hearing shots fired was a lot different in real life than it was in the game. It frightened me. I clutched the axe's handle lovingly, hoping that it would actually protect me if need be. I didn't want to be completely helpless.

_I didn't want to become another Ashley._

Dang it! The axe just broke. I guess I didn't have major skills after all. Stupid, sorry excuse for a weapon…

Other than the fear of being attacked and killed at any moment by some freaky parasitic dudes, it was pretty cool to be here…with Leon…and yeah. Actually, no. It wasn't cool. I could die here and never see my family again. They would never know what happened to me.

Oh, great. Here come the tears.

And Leon.

I didn't want him to see me cry, to see me weak. I hated it. I didn't like to show my weaknesses, it just wasn't me at all.

"Hey…are…are you okay?" He asked softly.

Closing my eyes, I looked away, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I'm fine," I snapped.

"Are you…sure? You don't look fine. Listen, Brittanee, I know this is hard…and frightening. But you have hang in there, now's not the time to break down."

I looked up at him, my dark blue eyes filled with tears. If it was one thing Leon knew how to do…it was comforting a woman. If you could call me a woman; I was only seventeen. Anyway! He must have had a strong motherly presence in his life.

"I know," I said quietly, almost a whisper. I knew I had to stay strong. To survive, to help Leon, to see my family again…Even if I had to kill more murderous people to survive, I would do it.

The agent smiled, resting his gloved hand on my left shoulder. "Say, let's…how do you say it? Ah. "_Thieve from the village_"."

We both laughed. I shook my head playfully. "No, thieving from the _farm_. We are on a farm you know."

He nodded, grinning. "True."

Once we got the whole "thieving" thing down, we went on our merry way to loot the farm. Leon checked the shack we were standing next to while I walked up to a dead tree with a piece of blue tattered paper nailed to the dark bark.

_Fifteen medallions. Seven in the farm, eight in the cemetery. For those of you who destroy ten or more will be awarded._

I squinted my eyes as the scrawl-like penmanship worsened as it flowed towards the bottom edge of the paper. Giving up, I tore the scrap of paper off the tree and waited for Leon to come out of the tiny shed-like building.

When he emerged from said building, I waved the paper in front of his face. "Look. Shoot the shiny blue things and win a prize! It's like a carnival game!" I gushed, eyes sparkling.

He chuckled, grabbing the paper from my outstretched hands. A blue glint caught my eye. I noticed a blue medallion hanging from the tree that the blue slip of paper was tacked too. Pointing to said object, I said, "There's one."

Leon nodded, taking a gloved hand and running it through his dirty blonde hair. I couldn't help but notice all of the dirt, blood, and other gunk that was already plastered on the silky strands. Poor thing. He definitely didn't deserve everything that was going to happen to him here. All of the madness that he would have to endure.

_And I was going to have to go through the same thing._

Damn it.

The agent took out his pistol and aimed. I stiffened, not wanting to hear the ear-deafening blast. Leon noticed this and gave me a small smile. "It's loud, I know. You'll get used to it, I promise."

My eyes widened, still unsure. "Why…why don't I just look over there in the barn for something while you shoot that? Yeah, sounds good." I didn't wait for an answer. Quickly walking into the barn, I spotted a couple of tall barrels. As I went to kick one in, there was a shot fired. Cringing, I slammed my foot into the wood; making fragments of beige wood fly everywhere.

Once I was done searching (finding nothing), Leon walked in, grinning. "Nine more to go."

I laughed. "More like fourteen. Why not shoot all fifteen of them? You may get something extra for your troubles."

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt…," He trailed off, studying me.

I grimaced, already knowing that I looked like crap.

My dirty blonde hair (which almost reached the middle of my back; which I'm mighty proud of, thank you very much) was probably already a mess, and I actually took the time to straighten it this morning. Damn my bad luck. I peered down at my plain midnight-blue t-shirt and saw that it already had stains of many unknown substances (which stay unknown, ew). My legs were dirty from the many falls I had already taken and my equally dark midnight-blue converse low-tops were dirty as well. And the worst thing of all was that I had these dark khaki _short_ shorts on. Emphasis on the _short._

I was going to freeze.

Yay me.

"What?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Nothing," He shook his head. "What's up with the nose ring?"

I touched the blue colored stud that was stationed in the right side of my nose absentmindedly. "Like it? Dude, it rules."

"Sure," He chuckled. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," I scrunched up my nose in confusion, "why?"

He shrugged. "You just look a little older than that."

"I get that a lot, ya know."

"Hmmm…"

I looked down at my feet, thinking. "Just to warn you, be prepared to hear a ton of sarcastic things flying out of my mouth. And profanities. I…have a dirty mouth."

The agent grinned, "I'll be all ears."

_____________

"I have a _bad_ feeling about this," I commented, staring at the sign post with three skulls hanging from it.

_So…inhumane._ _PETA would definitely have a heart attack if they saw this place. __Those poor cows and chickens._

"It's disturbing, I know. Why don't you stay here? You know what to do if there is any trouble."

I looked up, seeing a bridge with three Ganados standing there, just staring at the two of us. Before Leon could take a step, I grabbed his jacket and pulled him towards me without even looking away from the enemies. "Look," I pointed to them. "What are they doing? Undressing us with their eyes?"

"Oh, sarcastic," He grinned.

"Told you."

Apparently the three on the bridge above us didn't like how I pointed at them, or they just didn't like how we discovered their deepest darkest secret (undressing us with their eyes, of course) because they yelled something in Spanish (what other language _would_ they speak?) and ran off of the bridge, disappearing from view.

Soon enough, a rather large, deadly looking boulder came tumbling down the cliff to the side of us, missing us by miles. Well, miles could be a little dramatic. Let's say, a whole twenty feet in front of us. Yeah, that sounded better. The ground shook slightly and I teetered on my feet a bit, but other than that I was fine. Leon seemed to be too.

"Wow. They suck."

Leon blinked. "Pretty much."

We left the three idiots to bask in their humiliating defeat as we stumbled upon a damp tunnel leading to another area. "Ooo. Their shiny, Leon. Shoot them!" He chuckled but listened, shooting the spinels off the roof of the tunnel. I cringed lightly, still unfamiliar to the loud gun shots. Once we picked up the small pieces of treasure, we were on our way down the tunnel, our feet splashing in the dark pools of murky water beneath us.

When we made it to the other end of the rather long and unnecessary passageway, a clearing came to view. One lone villager stood a few feet away, holding up a stick of dynamite in his hand. He was probably on guard duty or something.

Whatever.

"Brittanee, stay here."

I happily obliged and plopped myself on top of the wooden fence near the entrance (or the exit) to the tunnel. I tried to channel out the shotgun blasts and the painful screams that accompanied them.

Silence soon ensued afterwards, leaving an eerie feel to the area. Leon was nowhere in sight and it…worried me. I hesitantly jumped off of the wooden post and walked slowly through some tall grass.

_**Clamp!**_

I let out a pained cry, my eyes welling with tears. This hurt like hell. My left leg just _had to_ walk straight into a bear trap. I whimpered and tried to pry the claws off of my leg. Or rather, _out_ of my leg. Just the thought of _that_ made me sick to my stomach.

There was a throaty chuckle and I looked up to see a bloody Ganado slowly stalking its way over to me. I whimpered again, frantically trying to get my leg out of the bear trap. I looked up at the man again, this time with tears streaming down my face. "L-L-Leon!" I managed to stammer out just as the villager lunged for me.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I awaited for the guy to grab me. Instead, there was a gun blast that pierced through the thick layer of fear that clouded over me. The manic man slumped over, dead, right next to me. I looked away as he disintegrated, the sickening sounds emitting from it being a bit too much for me to handle.

I was still hunched over, my hands on the clamps around my leg when Leon jogged over to me. He laid his hand on my shoulder gently, giving it a light squeeze. "Don't worry; I'll get you out of this. Just hold still now…"

Before I knew it, my leg was free. There was a slight throbbing pain near the middle of my calf, and I couldn't help but whine at the unfamiliar pain. I wasn't used to this sort of pain. And I definitely didn't take pain _well, _either.

"Thanks," I sniffled.

"I'm going to have to treat that wound of yours. We don't want it getting infected." I nodded as he started tending to the wound. "Did you have to wear such short shorts? This wound wouldn't have been so bad if you were wearing pants."

A noise that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob emitted from my mouth. "Sorry, but they only make shorts this length in my size. They think like, since I'm so skinny that I like showing off my body. Which I don't, mind you." I whimpered when I caught a glimpse of blood leaking from my calf.

A slight 'hmph' sound came from Leon's direction. "Sorry I'm not up with the latest fashions."

_What? Dude, he's so up with the latest fashions. Just look how awesome he looks in his little combat uniform thingy!_

But I wasn't about to tell him _how_ _good_ he looked in his outfit. That thought was going to stay in my brain where only I can think about it.

Teehee.

"How does it feel?"

I patted my calf, content with the wrapping Leon did. "Fine."

Leon had finally treated my bear trap wound while I was rambling about how good he looked in his get-up. And this wound, mind you, hurt like a son-of-a-witch (but at least it wouldn't scar; yeah, I know, I was vain). After a stream of minor swear words, that even made Leon blush a bit, flowed out of my mouth, I was back on both of my legs; pain free. There was a slight throbbing in my left leg, but nothing major.

He even got the blood off of my shoe! Woo!

The agent patted my shoulder and gave me a smile, which had me sighing like the little Leon fan girl I was. "Ready to go?"

I nodded, dazed. "Sure…yeah…whatever…"

He gave me a weird look before we began walking towards a rather large, old-looking chipped white house near the back of the area we were standing in. Once we got closer, I could hear what seemed to be a loud banging noise coming from inside. It had to be none other than Luis, the _vagrant Spaniard_ as Ada liked to call him.

Before I knew it, Leon had kicked the door open, lock and all, and was already ushering me inside. But I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching us. I took a quite glance over my shoulder, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. I let the idea slip by as I followed Leon in the house. When we made it to the hallway, Leon quickly disposed of the trip wires that took shelter there and we were off again.

I rolled my eyes at the blocked doorway we stumbled upon soon after, wondering why these people tried so hard to keep Leon from what he needed to do. We all knew that it wasn't going to work. The man was just too awesome to stop. Leon pushed the cabinet out of the doorway with ease.

Hah. Take that, fools. Yet another obstacle easily eliminated.

Score; Leon: Ten billion, Fools: Zero.

We walked through the once-blocked room and the banging noise got even louder. Let me tell you, it was giving me a rather nasty headache. And it didn't help any that Leon was just standing there, debating whether to open the armoire or not. "Will you open the damn thing already? My head hurts."

"Watch your mouth," He scolded.

"Watch your back," I retorted.

He gave a light-hearted chuckle before he cautiously unlocked the closet doors, pistol in hand. He motioned for me to move behind him, which I did, as he opened the wooden doors.

A familiar looking Spaniard fell out of the armoire and face first onto the floor. I stifled a laugh, not wanting to hurt the poor man's ego, which was probably already injured. I mean, really, he was tied up and locked in a dark closet. And he just came _out_ of said closet.

Oh the irony!

Anyway, back to the man (Luis) and Leon (adorable).

Upon seeing Leon about to shoot the living daylights out of him, Luis shook his head frantically and tried saying something but the duct tape over his mouth muffled his words. The agent bent down and ripped the tape off the Spaniard's mouth.

"Ah. Little rough, don't you think?" He asked rhetorically, his Spanish accent lacing his words. Leon turned him over and untied his hands. "You're…not like them?"

Leon replied, "No. You?"

Once he was free, the brunette man rolled over a couple of times, groaning in the process. "Okay. I have only one, very important question. You gotta smoke?"

The blonde shook his head. "Got gum."

I practically squealed with joy as I jumped up and down behind Leon. "Gum? Oh, oh, oh! Give me a piece!"

Leon chuckled, pulling out a stick of gum from his pocket. I unwrapped it quickly and shoved it my mouth, savoring the minty flavor. I happened to be a huge gum chewer. I always had a piece of gum in my mouth.

Yummy.

"Who is this?"

The Spaniard coughed, trying to get my attention. When I finally came back to reality, I simply stared at him. "Huh?"

"Who are you?"

I stepped around Leon and introduced myself. "Oh! Uh, I'm Brittanee."

Luis didn't get a chance to reply since two villagers (fools) happened to shuffle into the room carrying dangerous looking weapons. Leon, being the overprotecting, adorable little agent that he was, quickly pushed me behind him.

Dreamy sigh.

Large footsteps shook the floor we were standing on, making me wobble a bit. Leon seemed unaffected, as well as Luis. But Luis was on lying on the floor, so it didn't really matter.

"Perfect. The big cheese."

Oh. _Crap._

Leon gave the brunette on the floor a questioning look before asking, "What?"

Soon enough, the "big cheese" (Bitores Mendez) tromped into the room, giant as ever. Upon seeing us, he let out a low, throaty growl that sent shivers down my spine. Freaky. Without thinking, Leon swiftly ran up to the huge man and pulled a mean spin kick on the dude. Huge mistake on the agent's part, mind you. As you probably already knew, it didn't turn out very well.

Without even breaking a sweat, Mendez grabbed poor Leon's foot and sent him flying towards Luis and the strategically placed armoire. Leon crashed into the other man and the closet, both men falling unconscious on impact.

All I could do was stare wide-eyed at the events that just took place before me. To say I was freaked out was an understatement. I was terrified for my life. I slowly backed up against the wood paneling that was the wall behind me, standing completely still; shocked. He trudged over to me, towering above me by at least three feet easily. I cringed as he threw me over his shoulder roughly.

"You better let me go, you-"

With a grunt, he dropped me on the ground. _Hard_. The wind was knocked out my lungs and I saw stars dance before my eyes. The last thing I saw was Mendez leaning over me before I blacked out.

_____________

"You could use her, you know."

"Really, Mendez? Tell me. How so?"

"Wouldn't you want to spread the Las Plagas faster? She could help do that. It would take longer to cleanse the world with just the one girl, so why not use her as well?"

"Is she of high status?"

"Not that we know of." A sigh. "But, sir, that's the point. Use that to your advantage. No one will come looking for her, now will they? They probably don't even care that she's missing. She is American, you know."

"Hmmm. This does sound…intriguing. Once again Mendez, you have showed your intelligence and your great dedication for this religion. You will be greatly rewarded after my plan carries through smoothly. But, do pay heed to this. If my wishes do not go according to plan, there will be severe consequences to pay."

"Yes, Lord Saddler. Of course."

_____________

I blinked back tiny black dots that blurred my vision as I sat up against a wall. Groaning, I rubbed my temples, yearning for the giant headache residing there to just go away. It felt like a giant freight train crashed into my skull.

"Ah. Looks like she finally woke up."

Looking up to see nothing but a blur, I squeezed my eyes shut. Even my glasses (they are _still_ unharmed; and I thought I had horrible luck!) didn't help.

"What's your name, girl?"

The heavily accented voice scraped against the inside of my ears, leaving them raw. I groaned once again, feeling very groggy.

"Don't make me repeat myself. My patience is already running thin and I don't need and _American_ girl like yourself making my day worse than what it has been already."

_Well __**excuse**__ me._

"Who peed in your frosted flakes this morning?" I asked, rubbing my head.

"Quite the sarcastic one, now aren't you?"

Finally regaining my vision (no thanks to my stupid glasses); I tilted my head upwards to see a pale-looking man staring down at me. He was wearing a purple robe with an insignia on it and holding a staff that had some freaky-looking tentacles growing out the sides of it.

Osmund Saddler.

I should have been like, freaking out or something. But weirdly, I was mellowed out and didn't really care that a crazy maniac was standing before my sitting form. And the bad thing was that I swallowed my gum. Or it fell out of my mouth when I was unconscious.

Dang.

"Mind telling me your name now?"

"Mind _screwing yourself_?"

He 'tsked' a couple of times while shaking his head. "Brave, I see. No matter, that is a good trait I presume. But I wouldn't push your luck anymore than you should, girl. Now. Tell me your name."

"Brittanee," I replied, snippy. "And no, it's not Britt-_nee._ It's Britt-_uh_-nee."

"Ah, well, _Brittanee,_" he made sure to put extra emphasis on the _uh_ part, "so nice of you to finally introduce yourself to your lord." Gag me. "But what I would like to know is why you were wandering around in my village and hanging around that pestering agent."

I crossed my arms across my chest and looked away from Saddler with a loud 'hmph'. I finally noticed the surroundings around me. To my left was a large dining table set neatly. A fireplace was connected to the wall across from it, a picture of a lake hanging above it. There was another portrait that hung on the wall next to it. It was of Osmund Saddler. Anyone who wanted a picture of that guy hanging in their dining room was a total freak. But I guess Mendez was a freak anyway, so it made sense since it was _his_ house and all.

Wow I'm mean.

"I was hoping to ask you the same question, but I guess you don't know either. Some _lord_ you are," I snorted.

His face turned red with rage but he kept his cool, oddly enough. "What a mouth you have on you. But you are American, so I'll let that slide _once_ more." A curt wave of the hand. And what the heck was with him using the fact that I was an American against me?! "But let's cut the chitchat, hmmm? The reason why you're here _now_ is because you will be helping me with my goal to cleanse the world. You should feel lucky; I wasn't going to spare you. You'll be receiving a precious gift shortly, cleansing you of your sins."

"Sins? Dude, I'm seventeen."

"Dude is a derogatory name."

"This whole "precious gift" crap is derogatory."

"That's _enough_," He finally cracked, "I will hear no more of your sarcasm. Don't you know it will get you nowhere?" Saddler grabbed my arm roughly and pure fear flashed across my eyes. Seeing this, he chuckled and released my arm. It definitely was going to leave bruises. "Now that I have wasted valuable time listening to your mouth, I'm a little angry."

He looked towards the dining room for a moment, signaling something. A monk in a red robe appeared, out of nowhere, mind you; carrying a syringe filled with a purple liquid. Knowing full well what is was, I tried scooting away but Saddler stopped me in my tracks.

"Soon you will become one of us and know the true meaning of power," He laughed. Rather evilly, I might add.

I let out a whimper as the monk came closer to me, smirking. I thrashed around and tried hitting him. I even scratched at his eyes. I tried everything in my power to get him and that needle away from me. No way was I going to have that…_thing_ injected into me. No way, no how.

Saddler gripped me again, holding me still. Being stubborn, I rammed my foot in his knee but he didn't seem fazed. Instead, he grabbed my leg as well, leaving me completely helpless.

The last thing I remembered was something pricking my neck before I met the darkness that I knew so well once more.

* * *

_IF YOU SEE THE REVIEW BUTTON BELOW, CLICK IT **RIGHT MEOW** AND VOICE YOUR THOUGHTS/OPINIONS. I like to hear what people think. Really, I do. People on this site are so interesting. I like talking to people who are from different countries (like Canada and other hip places like that). It just seems so...cool to talk to people from a different part of the world! :) BUT ENOUGH OF MY IDLE CHITCHAT. Imma see ya'll real soon with Chapter Two. Stay on your toes, lollipops._

_HAH! Lollipops don't have **toes**!!!!!_


	3. Chapter Two: Mister Frilly Nilly

_Yaaaay! I've updated...for like the third time this week! LOL. But the next chapter won't be out until some time late next week, I got a lot going on in a couple of days that will hinder me from doing any recreational writing/updating. BOOOOOOO._

_Thanks for the reviews, readers. :) **finalfantasyjoe:** Thanks for reviewing both the prologue and Chapter One. :) Your reviews kinda confused me at first since there was no clear puncuation, but I figured it out! Lol. Thanks again, and I hope you continue to read/review **RE4:TF**. _

_I already have over 100 hits on this story! So I know people are at least **looking** at this, if not reading it too, so I'd like to see some more feedback! I like to know how I'm doing once in a while. :) Like, oh, IDK, what is it you'd like to see more in my writing? I personally think I need to work on putting more scenery detail in here, even though most of you know what everything looks like. Details just make your writing stronger. Eh, what do you all think?_

_Well, here's my lovely **disclaimer: Hey, yeah, I don't own a thing. Because if I did, I would be bathing in my own pools of money. Seeing as how I'm just lazing around on my comfy bed, it's looking like I DON'T OWN.**_

* * *

**Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**

**Chapter Two – Mister Frilly Nilly**

As far as I could tell, I was still in Mendez's house when I woke up. I could hear footsteps going in every direction. "My Lord, the American agent is getting closer."

"We better be prepared for when he arrives. Get the villagers ready. I don't want news of him surviving," Saddler snipped. He then ordered something in Spanish, but all I could make out was 'you' and 'the girl'.

A male villager walked towards me and lifted me over his shoulder. I didn't fight back this time since I rendered it useless and I still felt bleary. Two more men accompanied the guy carrying me once we exited the house.

As I was carried down the dirt path, I watched as a man with a chainsaw walk behind us. A sack covered his head so I couldn't see his face. I shivered as I looked away. Leon would have to face that…again.

I hoped he was okay.

I really wished that I understood what the two villagers were talking about to the dude that was carrying me like a sack of potatoes. They were talking in Spanish so fast that I couldn't make out anything. All three of them laughed and I could feel their eyes on me. It was kind of hard to see if they were really looking at me because, well, all I could see was the back of some dirty Ganado.

Setting my elbows on the guy's back, I placed my face in my palms so my face wasn't planted in the villager's back. I turned my head slightly and gave them all a dirty look. "You all suck."

They looked at me stupidly and kept walking; not knowing what I said to them. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Um, okay. _Ustedes están feos._" The three villagers didn't stop walking, but a mix of hurt and anger washed across their faces. Heh. At least four years of Spanish came in handy. Take that, you fools.

The men looked away and we soon came upon a set of tall wooden doors that led back to the village, I presumed. Supposedly "Lord" Saddler already left through said doors with his monks, leaving the villagers at Mendez's house to fend for themselves. Some savior he was.

Before we left the area, I couldn't help but whisper to myself quietly. "Be careful, Leon."

The doors shut with a loud bang.

______________

The village was in complete chaos, to say the least. Villagers scurried in every direction, ready to attack at any given moment. Some stopped and stared at us, but quickly went back to work. Others looked at me with complete hate. They were probably the ones that tried to attack me earlier. Haha, suckers. Too bad that didn't work out according to plan. I blew them a raspberry, but most didn't know what that meant and just looked away while some just stared at me like _I_ was the one with no brain.

Oh well.

They were all going to get pwned by Leon anyway.

When we came up to the large metal door with the insignia on it that lead to the church, one of the villagers opened it and walked through, waiting for the rest of us to come in before locking the door. We passed a table which had a…typewriter sitting on it. Weird. I didn't even notice the other ones Leon and I must have passed up earlier.

The man carrying me set me down once we entered the room which had the door in the floor. Yes, a door in the floor. If you ever heard of the movie, don't watch it. It's…weird, even for my tastes.

I wanted to make a run for it, but quickly remembered that the door was locked anyway and that villagers were crawling everywhere outside.

Sigh.

Faint gun shots went off in the distance, and I was quickly pushed towards the secret door. "Oof! Manners, please!" The men just looked at me weirdly before pushing me violently down the ladder. I swear I'll be black and purple with bruises by the time this was all over with.

The tunnel we had entered was dank and smelly. I sneezed quite a few times, my allergies acting up. Stupid tunnel. And these losers really needed to stop pushing me. It was grating my nerves like no tomorrow.

Once we made it to a larger area, I slowed down since it was a little dark and hard to see, but the three villagers didn't like that I guess. One of them pushed me a little harder than normal, causing me to trip over a small (stupid) pebble. Unfortunately for me, I ended up landing in a dirty puddle of water on my knees. I gave a whimper of frustration.

Stupid Ganados. I hated them all.

Well, anyway. Once they helped me up, we started walking into the next room where the merchant would be taking station at later when Leon got down here. We walked down another short tunnel, much like the last one and came upon another ladder.

After we were all done climbing said ladder, the villagers started walking even faster than before, yanking me along with them. I let out a cry of protest but they didn't seem like they cared much.

As they pulled me along through the cemetery, I watched as a few villagers hid behind tombstones and in the dark shadows that loomed in every nook and cranny of the graveyard.

They were about to get owned. By Leon, of course.

When we reached the church doors, they pushed me in rather roughly and quickly shouldered the doors shut after. I was greeted by two more villagers who led me up another stupid ladder at one side of the church. Which, by the way, was super creepy. Weren't churches supposed to be like, nice feeling?

Well this one wasn't.

Again- I'm trailing off of the subject in need of discussing here.

The two villagers (women this time) pulled me to a brown metal door and kicked me through, slamming the door shut behind me. They kicked me! UGH.

A few clicks later and the door was locked. And another loud noise came afterwards, making the floor shake a little. I was stuck in this tiny little storage room; my knees wet and smelling like dirt.

Oh, goody.

I heard a soft whimpering coming from behind a couple of barrels. Ashley maybe?

_**No dip, Sherlock. Who else would it be?**_

_Hey! Be nice to me._

_**Duh, you gaytard. I am you!**_

_Oh, right._

I needed to start being nicer to myself. And I also need to stop talking to myself, too. It was starting to get rather weird.

"H-Hello? Wh-Who's there?" A sobbing voice called out.

Ashley indeed.

The blonde woman poked her head out from behind the barrels and looked at me, raising her brow quizzically. "A-Are you…one of…them?"

I shook my head. "No."

She sighed in relief. "Thank goodness! Someone who speaks English!" She let out a shaky breath. "What's your name?"

I gave her a small comforting smile. "Brittanee. Yours?" I already knew her name; I was just going with the whole introduction thing so she wouldn't think I was awkwardly weird or something when I did call her by her name.

Ooo. That confused me.

No, wait! I got it now.

"I'm Ashley. Why are you here?"

"Probably the same reason you're here."

She frowned. "I don't even know why I'm here!"

"Me either," I lied. "Do you happen to be…the President's daughter?"

She looked at the ground, sad. "Yes…"

"Well, you're in luck. 'Cause your pops sent someone to come rescue you. Name's Leon, to be exact."

She looked up, eyes sparkling. "How do you know that?"

"I was with him before I got kidnapped." The older blonde went to say something, but I waved a hand to silence her. "Before you ask, I don't know how I got here. It's just…really…weird. Anyway, Leon found me being attacked and he saved me. And now I'm here with you."

"Oh. Will he be here soon?"

"Pretty sure," I answered. "Do you want to get out of here or what? I won't leave without you."

"O-Okay. Yes, I want to get out of here."

"Awesome! Me too!" I gushed. "Oh, darn. Too bad the door is locked," I said, quickly changing my happy tone to that of an emo-ish one.

Ashley probably thought I was bipolar or something. Which I wasn't. But I did think I had insomnia…

Straying off topic…again. I really needed to stop doing that.

"Well, can't you like, pick the lock or something?"

"Yeah, if I had a friggin bobby pin or something. Which I don't," I said.

"Hmmm…I guess we're stuck here?" She asked.

"I guess so."

She groaned. I didn't blame her. She had been in this cramped room longer than I had. And believe me, it was already getting on my nerves; being stuck in here like a caged animal.

The President's daughter looked disappointed as she walked to the back of the room and quietly sat against one of the many barrels littering the room. I slowly followed, sliding down next to her. "I'm sure we'll be fine. I mean, how long does it take to get here? I'm sure not very long."

But that was a lie. A very _huge_ lie. I definitely knew that it was going to take Leon more than six hours to get here. It was going to be a very long, very _boring_ wait…

______________

"…And that's how you escape the evil clutches of a demanding boss."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you seriously think that."

"What," I grinned, "you don't believe that? Seriously, if your boss wants you to work overtime; just high-tail it out of there, move to a different town, change your name to Mister Frilly Nilly, and put on a fake moustache. Perfect way to get out of work. I do it all the time."

The older girl laughed. "Right…"

I smirked. "Really!"

Okay. That's what happens when I get bored. I start making up stupid, silly ways to make people laugh. Well, at least I _try_ to make people laugh. It doesn't always work out that way.

I mean, really, when you're stuck in a box-like room for hours upon hours, you'd get bored too. And, anyway, it started raining a little while ago and it wasn't helping that all we could hear was the loud noises the raindrops were making against the tin roof of this freaky, cheap church.

Out of nowhere, there was a crack of thunder that startled me so bad that I practically jumped ten feet in the air. "Holy crap!"

"Brittanee!" Ashley scolded. "Don't use the word 'holy' in vain in a church!"

"This is hardly a church. It's more of a building where a bunch of freaks come to practice their sick cult-like religion and kidnap innocent girls to do their evil bidding."

Her hazel eyes went wide. "Wow…I never thought of it like _that_ before…"

"Exactly," I replied.

"Well what are we supposed to do now?" The older woman questioned.

"_IDK,_ play I Spy?"

She frowned, clicking her tongue. "But everything in this room is like, the same color!" Suddenly, the President's daughter flinched. "What was that?" she gasped.

I brought a finger to my chin, thinking. "I don't know…"

There was the sound again. A door…slamming shut?

"There it is again!" She exclaimed, hugging my arm.

I stood up and shook her off. I thought I heard footsteps coming closer to the room where we were being held captive…but they just…stopped. That was weird.

I moved closer to the door while Ashley stood up, looking for something. The floor started shaking a bit, like something was being raised off the ground. Then the footsteps started up again.

My heart started racing as I reached out for the door handle. Just as I was about to lay my hand on the brass knob, the door flew open and connected with my poor face.

_Ow!_

"Ouch! Dammit, what the heck!" I hunched over, cradling my face in my palms. "That really hurt!"

"Brittanee?"

"No, stay away from us!" Ashley's shrill voice filled the air. I heard something fly past me. It didn't connect with anything except for the cold, stone ground.

"Hey! Take it easy."

"No! Get away!" She screamed.

Owwie, my face. Major headache.

I felt someone's hand on my back, which made me jump a little. When I finally looked up, I saw Leon staring at me with a worried expression. "Leon?" My voice was muffled since my face was still behind my hands.

"Brittanee? I thought I lost you. I'm so glad you're all right."

"Leon?" Ashley squealed, happy. "Sorry I threw that at you."

He turned his gaze over to the President's daughter, who had nothing but admiration swirling around in her golden-brown eyes. "It's okay, Ashley. I'm here to rescue you."

She smiled, flashing her perfectly white teeth. "I know."

As soon as he made sure we were both all right, Leon took out his communicator and waited for it to get a signal.

"It's Leon. I've succeeded in extricating my subject. I also found Brittanee, the girl I talked to you about earlier."

"Good work Leon. I'll send a chopper over right away. Are they…all right?"

"They're fine. Where's the extraction point?"

"There's another trail that you can take to get out of the village. The chopper will pick you up beyond there."

"Got it. I'm on my way."

The agent smiled, "Looks like we're getting out of here."

"Really?" Ashley asked, relieved.

"You know, what I don't get is why they just didn't send half of the army to come rescue this girl. I mean, really. She _is_ the President's daughter. Why didn't they just send the chopper here? Seriously! You guys could have gotten her out in a jiffy and blew this place up to smithereens."

Leon thought about what I just said for several minutes. "I really couldn't tell you, Brittanee. But…I guess there was little to no planning for this whole mission at all. The President just wanted someone to find his daughter, and fast."

Ashley placed her hands on her hips and huffed. "You know, _the President's daughter_ is right here. And anyway, I agree with Brittanee. My father and I are going to have a serious talk about this "mission" as soon as we get home."

The agent simply shrugged. "That's fine with me."

"Let's go then," the older blonde said.

Once we got to the ladder, Leon jumped down and stood with his arms out, waiting for Ashley to jump down. When he caught her, he let out a soft grunt as he set her down. He then proceeded to look up at me, waiting for the same reaction.

I hesitated, fidgeting with my hands. I looked over the wall beside me, seeing nothing but an empty church. Feeling a little better, I casted my glance down at the blonde man waiting for me to jump. I took a deep breath and took a tiny jump off the ledge, feeling my heart slam into my stomach for the second time today. As soon as I landed safely in Leon's warm, protective arms, he set me down carefully next to Ashley.

After the agent took out his gun, we were off again, only to be stopped by that annoying Saddler dude, who, apparently, came out of nowhere and was standing before us on the altar. "Holy heck! When the hell did you get here?!"

"Ah, Brittanee. So glad that you are happy to see me," Saddler said, making a sad attempt at a joke.

Epic fail!

I rolled my eyes. "You wish you creepy old man. Get a life and stop trying to make others feel miserable with your crazy, manic antics."

"Who are you?" Leon asked irately, before Saddler could say anything else.

A chuckle emitted from his mouth. "If you must know, my name is Osmund Saddler; the master of this fine, religious community."

"What do you want?" The agent asked again, with a little more bite in his words.

"To demonstrate to the whole world our outstanding power, of course. No longer will the United States think they can police the world forever. So, we kidnapped the President's daughter in order to give her our power. And then send her back. We gave Brittanee here the same power as well."

"No," Ashley held her neck," Leon, I think they shot something in my neck."

"Yeah, me too."

"What did you do to them?" our hero demanded.

"We just planted them a little gift." Saddler chuckled. "Oh, there is going to be one hell of a party when they return home to their loving families." Pause for dramatic, evil laughter. "But, before that, I thought I might bargain with the President for some donations. Believe it or not, it takes quite a lot of money to keep this church up and running."

"Well, if your stupid little followers didn't carry all your money around in their back pockets, you wouldn't have that problem now would you?" I snapped.

My comment went unnoticed.

Dang.

"Faith in money will lead you nowhere, Saddler," Leon retorted.

"Oh, I believe I forgot to tell you that we gave you the same gift."

The blonde turned his head. "When I was unconscious."

"Oh, I truly hope you like our small, but _special_ contributions. When the eggs hatch, you will become my puppets. Involuntarily, you'll do as I say. I'll have total control over your minds." He laughed. Again. "Don't you think this is a revolutionary way to accommodate one's faith?"

I laughed. "That's already been done, idiot." Saddler looked at me questioningly, a hint of anger in his eyes. I decided to answer his unanswered question. "Television. Yeah, it's probably a shocker since you don't have anything like that in this washed up place."

Just when I finished with my awesome explanation, the church doors flung open to reveal two black hooded monks carrying crossbows. Saddler gave a crooked smile, "Have fun." And with a wave of a hand, the arrows were fired. Ashley quickly grabbed my hand just as she was holding Leon's and we booked it across the room towards the window to our right. The arrows whizzed by my head, just a few centimeters away from lodging into my skull.

My breath caught in my throat as we followed Leon out the now-broken church window. He landed on his feet and rolled over onto his knees while Ashley and I fell on our sides, rolling over a couple of times.

The blonde man quickly stood up and went to Ashley's side. "You okay?"

"Leon," She whined, "what's going to happen to us?"

"Don't worry. We got into this mess and we can get out of it."

I stood up and wiped myself off, my heart pumping. If that wasn't cooler than jumping off the roof earlier in the village, I didn't know what was. Leon looked at me, surprised. "That was so cool Leon!" I gushed out, eyes sparkling.

He chuckled as he helped the President's daughter up. "Glad you liked it."

"No, seriously. Next time there's a window to break out of; I'm definitely going through it first," I joked.

We both laughed while Ashley just looked at us like we were crazy or something. "Are you both nuts? I never want to do that again!"

Geez, what crawled up her butt and died?

Leon gave out a last laugh before leading us to the locked metal door. Once he unlocked it, we followed him outside.

______________

The rain was coming down hard and I was already drenched. I felt sorry for Ashley; she only had a little plaid skirt on and her sleeveless orange sweater did nothing to help fight against the bitter rain and cold. Her teeth were already chattering.

My cheetah print glasses were getting splattered with rain drops and it was really starting to annoy me. I didn't really need to wear the things since I only had a minor case of nearsightedness but they were _hawt_. So I just _had_ to wear them. But, seriously. If they annoyed me further I was just going to ditch them. I could see fine without them anyway.

I hugged my arms against my body, freezing. At least Ashley had, like, those tall boots to protect her legs from the bitter cold. I, unfortunately, did not. Oh yay.

Stupid rain.

Once Leon was done checking the ammo in his gun, we were off again, only to be stopped by a large group of villagers waiting for us in the graveyard.

Oh, how dandy.

"Leon, shoot those barrels on that wagon!" Ashley yelled, notifying the stupid villagers that we were there.

_"Allí están!"_

Hold on. I got the adjective mixed up. _Stupid_ Ashley yelled, notifying _the_ villagers. There we go.

I squinted in the darkness and the rain to see a wagon full of explosive barrels just waiting to be shot. And that's just what Leon did. The wagon burst into flames, mowing down any villager in its path.

Go wagon!

The blonde agent quickly took care of any surviving villagers and we were on our merry way (once again). We followed the path until we ended up at the shack with the ladder that traveled downward towards the merchant.

When all three of us got down the ladder, we traveled down the tunnel until we happened upon a promising blue flame. Leon walked up to the mysterious merchant with me hot on his heels. Ashley kept her distance, nervous.

"'Ello Stranguh! Looks like ya got some company this time."

"Yeah. I need a few upgrades for my pistol…"

"Ah! I almost forgot. Ya shot all of 'em fifteen medallions. Ya get that reward I promised ya. The Punisher, it's a nice gun, Stranguh. Can shoot through five people if you upgrade it all the way," The merchant said, his accent thick.

"No thanks. I'm good."

My mouth dropped. "What the heck are you thinking? You better not be refusing a free gun! Gimme that!" I exclaimed, reaching for the weapon.

"What do _you_ think you're doing? You aren't using that!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I am Leon. Get over it."

"I'm not just gonna _get over it!_ You're only seventeen and you don't even know how to use a gun!"

"Well," I placed a hand on my hip, "it's not really your decision whether I get one or not. And this one happens to be free and I'm taking it."

He let out a frustrated sigh before finally giving in. "Fine, but if you shoot yourself in any body part, don't come crying to me. Brittanee, guns can be really dangerous, I hope you know that."

"I know. But I just want to help out a little."

"That's fine, but I'm definitely teaching you how to use it right away."

I shrugged. "Whatevs." Heh heh. He fell right into my brilliant trap!

As soon as Leon was done doing business with the trench wearing man, he practically ripped the weapon out my hand. "Anger issues much?"

"Not in the mood, Brittanee."

I silently mocked him as he showed me how to put a "mag" in. Couldn't he just call it a "clip" or something? A "mag" is like, short for magazine. Which you read, not shoot.

Duh.

Wait! I get it now. "Mag" is short for a _magazine clip_. OMG! It totally made sense now.

_**Yeah, only cuz you just asked him what "mag" was shortened for, idiot.**_

_You know, you better start being nicer to me. Or I can totally slap you in the face with this here "mag"._

_**You'd be slapping yourself too.**_

Dude, I got myself there. Dang I'm good.

"Do you think you can handle it Brittanee?"

My eyes sparkled. "Totally."

"Just make sure the safety stays on when you aren't using it. We don't want you shooting yourself in the foot or something, now do we?" Leon said, grinning.

I gave him a smile. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to shoot you in the foot before I go and _accidentally_ shoot myself in the foot."

"Oh," he laughed, "good one."

"_JK!_ I would never shoot you on purpose, Leon."

"Hopefully not," Ashley commented.

Oops, almost forgot she was here. Mah bad.

"JK?" The agent questioned. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Just kidding," Ashley answered. "It's text talk. Like, I-M."

"I-M?"

I rolled my eyes. "Instant messaging. Duh, Leon. Get with the picture."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Ashley and I said in unison.

______________

"What's up with the typewriter?" I asked upon entering the room with said object sitting on the table.

"Not sure. Maybe they like writing homicidal novels in their spare time?" Leon joked.

We both laughed, and even Ashley joined in.

There was a crack of thunder that rained down on our parade. Realizing the situation we were in, Leon quickly took out his pistol and we were out the door, entering the village once again.

______________

You know, I really hated rain. It ruined your hair, made you smell like damp mold, and it just made you wet. Plain and simple. But how can something so plain and simple be so aggravating?

Bang!

And my leg was kinda sore. Yeah, you know, the left leg; the one that got caught in that idiotic bear trap. I swear my left leg had no brain.

Whoa…wait…

…Never mind.

I was not going to elaborate on how stupid that last statement was.

Bang!

As the last gun shot rang through my ears, I couldn't help but come back to the horror that was reality. Well, in my situation. Maybe not yours, but you get the point. Hopefully.

"What _is_ that?" Ashley called out frantically.

She was referring to the rather gory scene of some dude's head being shot off and revealing a whole ton of yellow gunk that _then_ revealed an adult plaga that started whipping its knife-like appendage around.

Gross.

The older girl looked away, disgusted.

I soon followed her actions.

It took a whole _magazine clip_ (hah, take that, myself!) to kill the stupid thing. This had Leon cursing. The rain washed away the evidence of the plaga and we trekked towards our destination (the farm) in the mud.

Of course, me being the klutz I was, I happened to get my foot stuck in the mud. This, in turn, caused me to fall face first towards the wet ground but thankfully I stopped myself by latching on to the fence post in front of me.

No way was I getting all muddy.

Wow…it took a lot of upper body strength to hold yourself up with only your arms.

Man was I weak.

I felt Leon grab me, pulling my up to my feet. "You okay?"

"Fine," I waved a hand. "Wet, smelly, and there's a little dent in my pride. But other than that, I'm good."

I couldn't hear what he said next, because just then a cry rang out from the trail leading to the farm and we were on alert once again. Ashley and I followed the agent up the trail as he mowed the villagers down like they were blades of grass that were in the way of his totally awesome lawn mower.

Wicked.

_Bear traps._

Oh, gawd. My mortal enemy.

They were scattered out everywhere on the trail, making it _really_ hard to walk. Leon did his best to shoot them all since you know, what happened to me earlier. I guess he didn't want that happening a second time.

Ooo. Too bad. 'Cause it looks like Ashley just stepped right into one's welcoming claws.

She gave out a cry mixed with a sob. I felt for her. Really, I did.

Don't look at me like that.

Of course I felt bad for her.

Then why was I walking away, you ask?

Well, I was. But then I just started staring at her.

Did _I_ look like that when I was hunched over trying to get myself out of the bear trap that claimed me as a victim? Wow, if so, I looked like a total wimp who was completely helpless. It was…_pathetic_.

Where was Leon when you needed him? Probably owning some more villagers.

"Don't just stand there! Help me!" She yelled out, her voice shaky. "Leon!"

Shaking myself from my daze, I went to help the _damsel in distress_. Eyuck, gag me.

"Relax, Ashley. This happened to me earlier. If you keep thrashing around like that you're going to make the wound worse!"

She listened to me and stopped moving. I was surprised that she actually could hear me over the rain that was crashing down on us, soaking us to the core. She let out a pained whimper and I yelled out for Leon.

He didn't come.

_Where the hell is he?_

I let out an angered sigh. He was just near us minutes ago. And I wasn't even sure if there were any gunshots since the rain was so loud.

"Leon," I screamed on the top of my lungs. He better had heard that one. I was going to grow hoarse from the constant screaming.

I tensed at the sound of heavy breathing coming from behind me. Glancing behind my shoulder slowly, I could make out a lone figure stalking its way over to Ashley, who was still hunched over in pain. My breath caught in my throat at the site of the villager's eyes glowing a reddish-orange color. That was freaky. Were they always that color? Or were they a normal color in the day-time? I never really paid attention.

Ashley then took this time to look up (unfortunately) and proceeded to scream bloody murder upon seeing the man walking with a pained limp straight for her.

"Brittanee," She hissed. Whoa. I thought she was going to scream for Leon so loud that it would break windows.

_Stop being sarcastic! Ashley's in trouble!_

"Brittanee," She repeated, frantic. "Do something! Shoot him!"

She wanted me to shoot the guy? I never shot a gun before! What if I hit her instead? She wouldn't need to worry about that bear trap wound then, that was for sure.

My fingers brushed against the cool black metal that was stationed in one of the many belt loops around my shorts. Quickly deciding what to do, I pulled the Punisher out and clicked the safety off. I was actually quite surprised that I remembered how to do that, mind you.

"Hur-Hurry!" Ashley yelled, her voice cracking. She was going to cry.

Once the laser sight was on the target, I readied myself for the backfire that would soon come after shooting this stupid thing. I relentlessly pulled the trigger...and I practically fell on my ass! But thankfully there was a fence behind me so I just bumped into that. But, dang! The power was still pulsing up my arms, making them almost numb.

Oh, yeah. The bullet missed and soared right above the guy's head.

I really sucked.

Or maybe it was just the fact that Ashley's big blonde head was in the way and I didn't really want to shoot her in the face. Yeah, I'll blame my bad shooting skills on that. Sounds excellent to me.

But, enough of that. That villager was getting _extremely_ close to the older girl, and it was actually making me rather nervous. Who knows how Ashley was feeling.

"Hel-Heeeeelllp!" she yelled feebly. "Leeeeeooon!"

I pulled the trigger a second time, the shock crawling up my arms just as strong as the first time. But I managed to stand my ground and I only happened to stumble a few feet backwards.

Oh. _Epic_ miss. Again.

The Ganado lunged for Ashley, red eyes ablaze. She screamed and ducked down, arms covering her head. I aimed again and fired, only to bump into a rock hard chest behind me. Yeah, that after-shock of the gun was _strong_.

And it _really_ hurt.

But on the bright side, the bullet smashed into the man's skull.

Oh, _crap_. That wasn't the bullet I fired. The one _I_ fired embedded itself into the muddy ground a few _yards_ away, I imagined. It was quite difficult to see _that far_. No, the bullet _Leon_ fired hit the man in the head.

Of course.

Anyways, the man dropped dead. Literally.

"I get distracted for one minute and this is the trouble you two get into?" Leon asked rhetorically.

Upon seeing Ashley huddled up with her leg stuck in a stupid bear trap, the agent cursed up a storm and jogged over to her, brushing shoulders with me absentmindedly. "Damn it, I thought I shot all of those shut!" he exclaimed while helping the President's daughter out of the trap. "I'm so sorry Ashley; I didn't mean to get distracted. There were just so many of them surrounding me. I promise that it won't happen again…"

She quickly shushed him with a quick 'shhhh' sound escaping her lips. "It's fine."

"I-"

"I _said_ its _fine_. But this really hurts," She whimpered. "Please…do something about it."

At least she said please.

I'm sure you don't want to read through the unnecessary events of Leon treating Ashley's wound, Ashley squeezing Leon's shoulder –which was very much unneeded-, and Ashley proceeding to give Leon a hug, which was also unneeded and very sappy.

No, I was skipping all of this.

We were in the farm now and Leon was off doing his _thing_.

Yeah, that's right. Being awesome and shooting up the place with his amazin' and brilliantly awesome shootin' skillz. That _thing_.

The rain had let up a little, and I could actually hear Ashley talking beside me without her having to yell it out at me.

"How come you didn't tell me he was _hot?_"

"Didn't deem it worthy of stating."

"_Ohmigawd!_ It is _soooo_ worthy! Look at his-"

"Ashley," I interrupted, "I don't want to have this conversation with you right now. I'm not in the mood to listen to your hormonal ways."

Hey, at least I kept my hormonal ways to myself.

"Psssht. Fine."

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Leon came back a few minutes later, the farm finally silenced by his supa-cool-totally-awesome ways with a gun. After checking his ammo supply, the blonde finally spoke.

"I need help unlocking a door over there," He stated, jabbing his thumb backwards towards the door.

From where we were standing, I could see the faint glow of torches that illuminated the tall wooden doors that we were supposed to go through to get to the chopper. How the rain didn't douse the fire was beyond me.

______________

"I'll do it, Leon," Ashley said, eyes sparkling when he flashed her a smile. "Anything to help."

Gag me with a spoon.

I snorted. Loud. The older girl just gave me a weird look at the point in which I said, "First off, you are wearing a skirt. Secondly, your leg just got stuck in a bear trap. You are in no condition to get lifted up into the air and then proceed to jump off this door, which, mind you, is like ten feet tall."

"But didn't you say that your leg got stuck in one as well?" She snipped at me, her expression saying 'jealous much?'. "Your leg is still bandaged, even!" she added, pointing to my obviously-wrapped left leg.

"That happened a while ago, and yours is bandaged too! And anyway, there is just a dull throbbing. It doesn't hurt much anymore," I snapped back.

Ashley was starting to get on my nerves.

"I think Brittanee's right. I don't want you hurting yourself again, Ashley."

Heh heh. Be jealous of that!

_Wow. I really should be a lot nicer to her…_

_**When she starts being nicer to you! **_

_Well I need to try to make peace with the girl. We're fighting (more like she's) fighting over a guy. Way hot guy, at that. We started off fine until Leon showed up…_

_**Have you noticed that all of the sentences that you have been thinking above this thought have started with the letter 'w'?**_

_Weird._

_**There's the 'w' again!**_

I _really_ needed to stop talking to myself.

"Come on, Brittanee. Climb up onto my back."

"Hopefully I won't hurt you," I said as I did said act. I waited for Leon to lift me up, but he just kept kneeling there. "Uhhh…Leon?"

"Oh! I didn't even feel you get on! You're so light!" He responded, lifting me up into the air.

Just great. My head didn't even reach the friggin' top of the door. Dandy. I guess this is what happens when you have long legs but a short torso.

_Yay._

Please note the sarcastic tone in which I thought that.

"I can't reach. Too short."

"Tiptoes maybe?" Ashley offered.

I complied, which only earned a slight grunt from Leon. I grimaced at his noticeable discomfort, but I finally was able to grab a hold of the top of the two thick doors. It took every ounce of effort on my part to pull myself into a sitting position, my legs dangling on the other side of the doors.

Whoa. This was really strange. I mean _really_ strange.

It wasn't raining on this side.

So half my body was getting rained on while my lower-half was…drying.

_Weird._

Anyway, onto more important matters. Such as unlocking these doors I was currently sitting on. Just to be cool, I let out an awesome ninja "Hi-ya!" as I pushed myself off. Yes, I was just leaking with awesome-ness.

I rolled onto the (dry) ground, thanking whoever it was you were supposed to thank in these types of situations for making sure the dirt wasn't wet. My left leg (which was (unfortunately) caught in the bear trap) was throbbing, but I pushed the dull pain to the back of my mind.

Oh, hah hah! There is a set of parentheses _in_ a set of parentheses! How cool is that?

Seriously, onto more important matters.

Like how I just unlocked the door. There's a start.

"I unlocked it, Leon," I yelled.

A sound emitted from the other side and the doors were pushed open to reveal two very disgruntled wet people. "Miss me?" I asked, smiling and pulling off a sexy (maybe) pose. After all, I wasn't getting rained on at the moment, while they still were.

"Sure thing," Leon said before frowning. "That's weird, it isn't raining over here."

Ashley smiled softly and gave me a look that read "I'm sorry" as she walked over to stand next to me. I raised an eyebrow at her, but brushed it off. If she was willing to get along, so be it. She was probably just worked up and wasn't acting herself.

Once we made it to the merchant, he opened up his trench coat and chuckled out a, "Got somethin' that might interest ya, Stranguh." I eyed the ammo boxes secured on the inside of the coat. I always thought it was stupid how it showed that he had ammo in the game, but he didn't actually _sell_ you said ammo.

How rude.

"Like the gun miss?"

It took me a few minutes to realize that he was talking to me. I scrunched up my nose, frustrated at the thought of the weapon he gave me. "Hah! Man, I suck. _Bad._"

The merchant chuckled. "Takes time and practice, lass. You'll get the hang of it soon enough."

Rolling my eyes, I stepped out of the way so Leon could do business with him. The agent upgraded a few of his weapons and bought quite a few healing sprays since Ashley and I were prone to stepping into stupid little traps.

After we were done dealing with the merchant, we were on our way; skipping merrily across an old rickety bridge. No, I take that back. We were not skipping merrily. That would be totally stupid to do that over an old, hole-infested bridge. Actually, we had to slowly step across it, making sure we were carefully avoiding any weak spots in the bridge.

I just liked to think we were skipping merrily. Since you know, the whole do-or-die situation all three of us were in now wasn't looking too good. I needed to add a little sarcasm to this dreary night. Without it, we'd probably all die of boredom before some crazy villager stabbed us with a pitch fork or something.

When we were half-way across, Leon's communicator/radio/whatever-_it_-really-was beeped. Of course it was Hunnigan.

"Leon I have some bad news."

He scowled. "I'd rather not hear it."

"Well I'm afraid I have to tell you anyway. We've lost contact with the chopper. Someone must have shot it down though we can't determine who."

"Great," he scoffed.

"We're prepping another chopper for you. Meanwhile, I want you to head towards the extraction point."

Leon nodded. "Got it."

They hung up.

I turned to look at Ashley, who paled excessively. "What are we going to do Leon?" she asked, frightened.

I grimaced. "I told you they should have just taken you in the chopper, Leon." I placed my hands on my hips. "And can't determine who? Um…okay. We're being attacked by crazy villagers out for our blood. I'm pretty sure it's them who did it."

Ashley nodded, agreeing with me. Leon just frowned, knowing I was right. "And another thing. Where the heck _is_ the extraction point anyway? Did _she_ ever tell you?"

The agent shook his head. "It was supposed to be here, but I guess we're just gonna have to keep moving."

I sighed but complied, following the other two towards the end of the bridge. Ashley gasped, pointing in the distance. "Look!" Sure enough, when I squinted through the rain (which had ominously started back up again) there were hints of torches that were accompanied by many angry-looking men.

I looked behind me, only to see the same thing. "Leon! Behind us!"

He froze for only mere seconds, as if contemplating what to do, before saying, "Hate to say it, but we're sandwiched all right. Quick! In that cabin!"

As soon as Leon pointed to the strategically placed house in the middle of the area, all three of us sprinted like no tomorrow until we were all at the door. Leon ripped it open and scanned the lower level before he practically ripped Ashley's arm off, as well as mine, by pulling us into the cabin. When we were all safely inside, Leon slammed the door shut and leaned against it.

"Leon!" A stick of wood came flying by, nearly smacking me in the head. The blonde agent caught it with ease and barred the door with it. "Small world, eh?"

I looked towards the stairs only to see Luis standing there looking smug.

I eyed him checking Ashley out when he walked closer to us, arms crossed. He was looking at her as if she was a new car being put out for display. "Well, I see that the President has equipped his daughter with ballistics, too."

Said daughter gasped, appalled. "How rude! And I don't believe there's any relevance with my figure and my standing. Who are you?" Ashley replied as angrily as she could.

"Ho oh. Excuse me your highness." Luis put his hands up in defense. "Perhaps the young lady might want to introduce herself first before asking someone his name."

"The name's Ashley Graham, the _President's_ daughter."

The Spaniard glanced back at Leon. "Is she… well, you know?"

Leon shook his head. "Don't worry, she's cool."

I snorted when Luis flicked his gaze towards me, eyeing me up and down. "Do you have a problem with staring, or are you just rude?" I heard Ashley grunt with agreement.

"You're Brittanee, no?" He asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

He smirked. "Nice legs."

Well if that didn't leave me wide-eyed and open-mouthed, I didn't know what would. I thought as though my eyes were going to pop out of my sockets, I was so stunned. I heard Ashley let out a tiny gasp, but she kept quiet none-the-less.

"I'm _seventeen_, you obnoxious bimbo!" I practically yelled. "You just illegally harassed me!"

"Oh," Luis frowned, "my bad."

To my absolute horror, Leon chuckled. "She looks older, doesn't she?" How dare he not yell at him for basically hitting on a minor, namely me! I was flabbergasted, to say the least.

The brunette man nodded, but didn't say anything.

Ashley took in a sharp breath and pointed towards the boarded up windows. "Sorry to rain on your guys' parade, but _look!_"

Leon readied his weapon and jogged towards the window nearest to the door. Pointing to the stairwell, he said, "Brittanee, Ashley, upstairs."

I nodded. "Okay."

Ashley took my hand and I led her up the stairs to the second level. As we made our way up, I could hear Luis' voice ring out.

"It's game time."

* * *

_Oh, Luis. I heart you. Even if you are an overly perverted womanizer. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer. Ooooo...Ooo...Ooooo...oo...oo._

_Yeah, Imma stop singing **B. Spears** now. LAWLAPALOOZA._

_Please review. :) I'll cherish them all forever!_


	4. Chapter Three: Cabin Fevaaaaaa!

_Oh snaaaaaap! I updated...again! I hesitated on doing this for a while...because, well, chapter four is still under the works. It's over halfway done, it just might take a little longer to get out since I'm super busy for the next week. But, oh well, I digress._

_OMG MORE PPL REVIEWED DAWG. _**_MysticGohan88:_** Oh man, I was waiting for you to show up! :) I'm so happy you like this version better; so do I! And it's funny how, after noticing all the imperfections in RE4, I just can't seem to stop liking it. It's the best game. Ever. Seriously, no joke. LOL. But anyway, about making a RE5 version, I don't think so. RE5 makes me sick to my stomach. You'd think that after spending an X amount of years developing RE5 they'd get a new story-line. No, of course not. They copy RE4 BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT!! Seriously, they outdid themselves with Leon's awesome-super-adventurous escapades. Poor Chris and his stupid partner Shiva (or however you spell it, she sucks anyway) and his dumb knife and the dumb guy with the chainsaw that is remarkably cousin-like to Doctor Salvador. Pffft. Boo, RE5, boooo. ACK! Sorry for running on and on about that, I could probably talk about how RE5 sucks so much for hours on end. :( Imma get RE6 the Dark Chronicles for the Wii for Christmas cuz that's gonna pwn all. Yeah yeah yeah! Oh, and hey! Thanks for the fave! :D **_finalfantasyjoe:_** Your answer about Ashley using a gun is remedied in this chapter, my friend. :) Thanks so much for reviewing! **_Lucy:_** Oh dear, cheesy as in bad? Or cheesy as in, 'holy crap that's so awesome it reminds me of cheese!!!'? ANYWAY! LOL. Thanks for reading/reviewing; I'm glad you like it so much!

**_I LOVE YOU ALL; YOU BEST NOT BE FORGETTIN' THAT._ **

_ANYWAY. Thank you all so much for reviewing and telling me your opinions! I'd like to see some more of that this time around! I'm seeing a lot of hits, but only a few reviews. IDK if people are just glancing at it or reading it without reviewing. I don't mind, really. I just like reviews better! :D_

_Yayyy...now scroll down and read this really long chapter!_**

* * *

Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**

**Chapter Three – Cabin Fevaaaaaa!**

Once we were on the second floor, Ashley's honey-colored eyes moved from side-to-side, frantically looking for a place to hide. After a few short seconds, she pulled on my hand and raced towards a beige, dingy-looking closet near the far corner of the large room. As soon as the two closet doors slammed shut, I briefly remembered there being grenades lying around on this floor…

But screw that. Leon and Luis could handle it, of course. I wasn't about to go running around up here with explosive devices in my hand. Heck, I didn't even know how to use them, much less know how to break open a window without killing myself.

Ashley squeezed my hand once the sound of gunshots could be heard from downstairs. "I hope they're going to be okay."

I tried not to let my shaky breath alarm her as I said, "I'm sure they'll be fine. Leon can handle himself."

I hoped it was the truth. Because for some reason…I didn't really think a '_You Are Dead'_ screen would pop up after Leon was stabbed in the head with an axe asking him if he wanted to try again.

And that thought scared the crap out of me.

Loud crashing noises shook me from my morbid thoughts, along with the hard pressure of Ashley's hand choking mine until it was turning black and blue from lack of blood circulation (maybe, I didn't look down to check that assumption).

"They broke the windows," the older girl whispered harshly, her voice almost cracking. I thought she was going to cry, but she looked angrier beyond belief. I whimpered.

"Leon, upstairs!" Luis yelled out from _somewhere_. Neither of us could tell what was going on, there was no way we could see out of this closet. I liked it that way. If we couldn't see out, none of those creeps (fools) could see in. At least that thought was comforting.

The next few moments went by in a daze. Labored breathing, accompanied by loud footsteps passed by our hiding place, and I swear if the stupid Ganado couldn't hear me and Ashley's quick, heavy breathing, then he must've been deaf. A few gunshots echoed across the room and they must have hit their target because a large body slumped against the closet doors, sending Ashley and I in a tizzy. Ashley pulled me into a death-gripping hug while I did the same to her. We buried our heads into each other's shirts, trying to block out the stench of death and decay as the sounds of the bubbling disintegration took place.

We stood there like that, waiting and listening to loud screams, words (mostly in Spanish), and gunshots. While we were cramped inside our tiny hiding place, Leon and Luis were fighting an ongoing battle outside of our safe-haven.

"Did you send out those invitations? I told you no more than fifty people!"

Luis laughed, Leon grunted. Ashley and I grimaced at Luis' poor timing at a joke. And as I thought of ways to seriously torture Luis for joking at a time like this, something extremely horrible happened.

I started coughing.

And then the pain came.

Ashley let go of me as I covered my mouth with one hand and my chest with the other. The pain was _unbearable_. It was sharp and unforgiving as something twisted itself in my abdomen, making my chest burn and my eyes swell with unshed tears. And as I coughed again, harder this time, a splash of warm liquid hit my hand. I lifted my hand towards my face and saw the blood dripping off of it. Ashley let out a tiny, quiet gasp at the sight, which only made me more afraid. What was happening to me?! It hurt _so much_.

I started coughing again, but so much worse this time around. The tiny, claustrophobic closet wasn't helping; I needed air, and I needed it _now_.

"Wait- don't-," I pushed away from the older girl's prying hands, stopping her mid-sentence as I ripped the doors open. A wave of hot, humid air hit me like a pile of bricks. It smelled of something rotten and foul. Something I didn't want to think about. The air in the room wasn't what I needed, all it was helping was the coughing and the pain and the…

Something wasn't right.

I looked around, trying to figure out what was going around in the hazy, spinning room. I stumbled a few steps forward until my vision wasn't so foggy and saw what was wrong.

Everybody in the room was staring at me, dead quiet. Leon and Luis had their guns trained on random Ganado, both looking at me with wide eyes and looks of utter disbelief plastered on their faces. Somehow I stumbled into a rather large horde of the Ganado, and all of them seemed to be startled out of their death-rampage-kill-everything-in-their-path moment. And before I could register the fact that dirty, grubby, sweaty hands were latching themselves onto my paler-than-white skin, I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head and I dropped to the ground like dead weight, sinking into oblivion.

__________

"Is she dead?!"

"No, Ashley, she isn't dead."

"Hopefully not, her legs are award-winning."

"Luis. Shut up."

"What? You can't blame a man for admiring."

"You're a pig. I hope you know this."

"Ah, _se__ñ__orita_, you wound me so."

I groaned, shuffling on the hard floor. My head felt like a semi-truck had just plowed its way through my aching skull. I didn't even want to open my eyes because I already knew my vision was blurry by the fog of dizzying nausea floating around me.

"Look! She's moving, thank goodness!"

"Don't shout so close to me, please," I begged as I situated my head between my knees, trying to get rid of the unbending need to throw up.

I heard Ashley gasp. "Oh, I am so sorry, Brittanee. I didn't mean to, you just had us all worried."

"Ugh," I groaned, "what happened?"

A gloved hand landed softly on my back, rubbing soothing circles. "You don't remember?" Leon hesitantly asked.

"Uh, no. All I remember is burning pain and then passing out."

"Well, you gave us all a scare by busting out of your hiding place and landing yourself smack dab in the middle of a group of those…things. You passed out after they started grabbing you, and Ashley, God forbid, came out to _help._"

His voice dropped a few octaves on the word "help" to remind Ashley that she was in trouble.

I heard her let out a very unladylike snort before responding to his warning. "Well _excuse me_ for trying to help those in need." I tried not to laugh, I really did. But it was a fruitless attempt and the chuckle that escaped my mouth did not go unnoticed.

"What's so funny, you don't think I'm capable of helping?"

"Ashley," I sighed, "_what_ did you _do_?"

"She blew up a few Ganado with grenades," Luis responded before Ashley could defend herself.

I looked up at all of them then, shock evident on my face. "She what?!" How on Earth did the _President's Daughter_ use a damn grenade? I didn't even know how to use one! Much less multiple ones!

The girl in question huffed as she placed her hands on her hips haughtily. "Just because I happen to be the President's daughter does not mean I'm just a useless blonde bimbo. I'm full of surprises."

"What I want to know is how you learned how to handle explosive devices," I said simply. Because if she knew how to use them, she needed to teach me for everyone's benefit.

She shrugged her shoulders lamely. "Television."

"No wonder why I felt unsafe when she was yielding those things so close to me," Luis groaned. "She learned how to use a damn grenade by watching action movies."

"I don't care how she learned," I declared whilst unsteadily getting to my feet. A wave of dizziness smacked me across the face and Leon had to grab a hold of my shoulders so I didn't fall. As soon as I recovered I stared at Ashley with fascination akin to awe. "Will you show me how to yield awesome grenades?" I asked. "I will forever be in your debt, Oh Great One."

The older girl giggled and swayed her hips a bit before mock-bowing towards me. "Of course, Grasshoppa. We will begin our schooling right away!"

We laughed until tears leaked from our eyes and the two men with us stared like we had just grown two heads. Luis shook his head as if to get rid of the strange sight before him.

"I'm just glad you're all right, Brittanee," Leon finally managed to spit out. Oh, such a sweetie!

"_S__í __se__ñ__orita_. It would have been a damn shame if you had died. Those legs should be insured, _mi querida_."

I suppressed an eye-roll and blew the vagrant Spaniard a raspberry. He obviously wasn't about to stop the leg comments, so I just went the 'just roll with it' route and decided to take it as a compliment. "You'll be the first to know when they are, _mi estimado_."

Luis practically guffawed as he sauntered down the stairs. "Ah, _Brittanee_, it would be fun to stay and chat with you some more, but…," he paused and threw a grimace at my blood-covered hands, "I have forgotten something. Don't wait for me long, _amante_."

The way he said my name made it sound like a dirty word. I hated to admit it, but the infuriating man had made me blush. Leon gazed at my colored face before I found it unbearable and turned away. My face probably looked like a ripened tomato by now.

As Leon chased after the Spaniard, Ashley swiveled around to stare at my still heated face. "You are so naughty," she laughed, grinning, "but I don't blame you. He might be a pig, but he's definitely hot."

I giggled as I hugged myself. "I would have told you how hot he was based on my "Hotdar, but Leon broke it when I first laid eyes on him."

I swore people over in the next country could hear Ashley laugh.

"That's okay," she brushed a blood-covered hand through her blonde hair, "I'm pretty sure that Saddler dude broke my Gaydar when I first saw _him_."

Oh dear _gawd._ Who knew Ashley Graham's vocabulary consisted of the word _Gaydar_. If this wasn't one of the best moments in history, I really didn't know what would be. But before I could voice my complete admiration towards Ashley, Leon climbed back up the stairs.

He stared at us both before voicing his concerns about my missing glasses. Quite frankly, I didn't even notice that they were absent.

"I think one of those _Ganado_," Ashley used air quotes on the word Ganado, "took your glasses, Brittanee. I don't know why though. I mean, they were really cute and all, but why would that thing need your glasses?"

"Obviously we had a good time. Something to remember me by," I deadpanned.

"That isn't going to be a problem, is it?" Leon questioned, ignoring my pass at a joke. He stared at me intently, scrutinizing my reaction closely. Geez, the guy sure knew how to be intense.

I shook my head as I patted the area right above my eyes to make certain what Ashley had said was true. Of course, it was. "Oh, no. I only had to wear them because things are slightly blurry from far away. But believe me, I can see quite well. No worries here."

__________

After Ashley had successfully taught me how to yield explosive hand-held devices (with Leon watching over us like a damn hawk), and we blew up most of the two-story cabin (mwuhahaha, take that, you dirty Ganado!), it started raining. Now I only mention this for about two different reasons. First off, at least now we weren't all dirty, sweaty, covered in blood (most of it not our own, which was a pretty disgusting thought), and reeking of something foul. And secondly, well, the rain pouring down on us was ruthlessly frigid. Raindrops coiled around my body like icy snakes, chilling me from within. At least Leon had pants on and Ashley was wearing a pair of knee-high boots. Of course, little ol' unlucky me had to have converse and short shorts on. Not the best outfit to wear while you're enduring freezing rain, but I digress.

And what the heck was up with that merchant and his strange blue flames that were still ablaze during a downpour?! This man had some freaky tricks, freaky enough for me not to question anything in his arsenal. If this red-eyed ally wanted weird-ass, bizarre blue fire, then hell, let him have it. I wasn't about to pry and suddenly bombard him with thousands of annoying suspicions. Have you _seen_ the grenade launcher he wields around like a pro?! No thanks; I'd rather not be on the receiving end of something like _that_.

"Brittanee," Leon called from the small hut housed next to the merchant. Speaking of the merchant, I was probably freaking him out by staring at him so much. Oh well. If he got to weird me out with his strangeness, then I got to stare at him. Fair enough.

I ran inside the tiny hut, grateful for the small shelter. At least now raindrops weren't constantly pounding down on me. Yay, score for me. As soon as I entered, I noticed Ashley trying to warm her hands by rubbing them together over the oil lantern sitting on the wooden plank that stretched from one side of shed to the other. Seriously, if I moved any closer, all three of us would have been touching. I mean, I wouldn't mind touching Leon. I'd like to touch him on a daily basis, but I didn't think he'd like that very much.

"It says here that we need to choose one of the two paths to get out of here," Leon stated, effectively ripping me away from my way-too-hot daydreams of touching him. If he could have seen what was running through my head, then he would have shot me and accused me of sexual harassment. Or worse, filed a restraining order; which, of course, wouldn't do me any good because he was suppose to protect me and get us out of this here hell-hole. If I couldn't get within one hundred feet of him, how was I supposed to live throughout the night?! But, hah, I was being silly. Leon couldn't read my thoughts, and he definitely wasn't about to file a restraining order against me. For now, I thought, I was fine. However, if I found myself trying to cop a feel later on, then I was a complete goner. No doubt.

Ashley turned towards the both of us, stuffing her hands under her armpits, mimicking my stance. I frowned, thought, _what the hell_, and walked over to her and latched on. Hugging meant more warmth. She could punch me later for being too touchy.

"T-Thanks," she whispered. "I'm freezing."

To our utter amusement and astonishment, Leon joined in on our little hugging party. Oh, Sweet Merciful Jesus, this was the moment of my wildest dreams. I did my best not to let a dreamy sigh part from my shuddering lips. The man was a damn heater. It was so amazing.

"W-What do th-these pathsssss contain?" Ashley tried to ask Leon, but most of it was just stuttering.

The agent hugged us tighter to his wonderful rock hard, warm body. "One holds an unknown amount of villagers and the other houses an El Gigante."

I felt Ashley cock her head. "El Gigante? What is that?"

"I'm th-thinking a freakishly large ogre-type th-thing."

"Nice description, Britt. But yeah, that's basically what it is."

The older girl sighed and her hot breath warmed my face. Yay, warmth. At least it didn't smell bad, but quite frankly, I wouldn't have actually cared all that much. "Great. What's next, a damn invisible bug?"

Leon laughed. I didn't. They had no idea how right she actually was. And that was when it got to me: should I tell them what was about to happen? Because if I did, we'd be better off because Leon would know what was coming. But yet again, they'd think I was some crazy person because I knew what was going to happen. Would they think I was some sort of traitor, working for Saddler?

Yeah, screw that. I'm keeping my mouth shut and just dropping hints along the way. That way Leon and Ashley wouldn't think I was some freaky weird voodoo witch person.

"Looks like we have to trust our instincts and pick one. I'd rather face one giant enemy than numerous ones, though," Leon said, finally breaking through the thick haze of silence. Other than the rain slamming down on the roof of the shed and our shallow breathing, everything else was dead quiet. Even the merchant out in the rain was doing nothing.

Ashley and I nodded our heads in agreement and waited patiently as Leon called Ingrid Hunnigan with his little communicator thing.

"Ingrid."

"Leon."

"How's the chopper coming along?"

"Slowly but surely. Just keep moving."

"And Brittanee," Leon asked, "what have you found on her?"

I practically heard Ingrid frown. Since Ashley and I were still wrapped around each other keeping warm, we couldn't see Ingrid's face on Leon's communicator. "Nothing. Yet. I'm working on it, Leon."

The agent hung up with a _beep_ and I scowled. "I would really love to know how I ended up here."

"Don't worry," Ashley patted my shoulder, "she'll figure out what happened. It's not like you were sucked down a black hole, right?" The older girl chuckled at her own joke but stopped as soon as she saw the impassive look on my face. "What…you don't think that- wait, that's just crazy! Leon! Tell her!"

Leon grunted and crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall. "By now I'll believe anything."

I chewed on my bottom lip and played with the hem of my wet shirt. "I honestly don't know what to believe anymore." And I didn't.

Leon and Ashley didn't mention another word about my predicament after that.

__________

"Left."

"Right."

"No. Left."

"No, right!"

"Left!"

"Right!"

"That's enough!"

Ashley and I both flinched when Leon's voice bellowed throughout the tiny room which contained the lever that would forever alter our destinies. Nah, I was just kidding. But it did alter the route we would take, and what we would encounter on said route.

"Right seems safer," I hinted.

"How does it seem 'safer'?" Ashley asked, placing her hands on her hips. "For all we know it could be infested with villagers with guns!"

"Well, _for all we know_, the left route could have PMSing women wielding chainsaws!"

Ashley and Leon both visibly shuddered. "Ew," they grunted in unison.

"I did _not_ need that specific mental picture. We're so going right," Leon shuddered again and mumbled something about "women and their constant need to blame everything on their monthly cycles" under his breath.

Before Ashley could protest, the agent pulled the lever towards the right. The gears started squeaking and grinding in protest until something slammed into place. Obviously the right door had been raised. We jogged down the path and shouldered the heavy double doors open.

"I don't hear any people screaming bloody murder, so I think we're in the clear," the older girl declared.

I took in my surroundings, but there really wasn't much to look at. Brown rock enclosed us on both sides, leaving a narrow area leading to a small wooden door ahead of us. If I squinted, I could make out silver crisscrossing the door. Chains?

"Hey, Leon," I whispered, afraid to disrupt the calming peace. It wasn't raining anymore and it was good to actually hear…nothing. Even if it was freaky not to hear the chirping of crickets or the soothing sound of the wind. It was as if this narrow passage was cut-off from every sound imaginable. "Are those chains on that door up ahead? I can't really tell."

Leon took out his rifle and gazed through its scope. "Yeah, there are. I wonder why."

"Should you shoot them now? And what's up with that boulder up there?" Ashley rubbed her arms absentmindedly, "What if it squashes us as we walk under it?"

The agent didn't wait for any more questions as he rifled those chains right off the door. Go Leon! If I had a cheerleading uniform on me I would have made signs depicting Leon's greatness and then jumped up and down cheering for him. Yeah, I was a dedicated fan.

"Well then," I stared, amazed, "you're good."

Leon just chuckled.

I noticed movement in my peripheral vision and turned towards it. Ashley was on her knees, digging out sharp edged rocks embedded in the soil. "What on God's Green Earth are you doing?" I hissed, absently running my fingers over the four green grenades hooked on the belt loops of my shorts.

She stood up and brushed herself off after placing the handful of rocks in the two front pockets of her skirt. "Arming myself."

Well I couldn't argue with that. If I tried wielding a damn axe as a weapon earlier (until it broke), she had every right to use rocks now. She would probably be deadly if she had good aim.

"Where is it," Leon said to himself. "Why isn't anything jumping out at us?"

Ashley unwrapped the brown and cream sweater from her neck and threw it on the ground. When she noticed Leon and I staring at her like she was crazy, she exclaimed, "What?!" She huffed and crossed her arms. "It's ruined and wouldn't even fit any of us. And it was aggravating me anyway. Good riddance," she added, lightly kicking the brown sweater stained with blood. "Ew, and it's all wet!"

I face palmed. Leon sighed heavily.

"Maybe we should just keep moving. I want out of here _so bad_."

"Ugh," Ashley whimpered, "so do I."

"And do something about that rock," she added. "It's giving me a sense of foreshadowing, and, quite frankly, that creeps me out."

"Yes," Leon bowed his head, "Your Highness."

I snickered. Rather loudly, I might add. Ashley just gave me her biggest death glare, which didn't faze me at all. I was Queen of All Death Glares. I once made a grown man whimper before. Greatest. Accomplishment. Of my life. Ever. Not even kidding.

"I don't think it's such a good idea to shoot it down," Leon stated as he gazed through his rifle scope. "There is nothing going on, let's just go."

"On the count of three, I say we all just book it over to the door. I'm not taking any chances. What if a ton of flying villagers swoop down and dive onto us or something?"

"Brittanee," Leon sighed. It was his turn to face palm. "That's not gonna happen, trust me. The sooner we stop talking, the sooner we can leave."

"Yeaaah," Ashley tapped her foot, "I like the "count to three" idea. Let's go with that."

Leon rolled his eyes at the both of us. "Fine."

"One."

"Two."

"_THREEGO!!!!_"

We all shot off towards the now unchained door, running faster than jackrabbits on steroids. Maybe. I wasn't really sure how fast jackrabbits ran on steroids. Eh, oh well.

And then suddenly a deafening roar filled our ears as a giant-ass troll (really, it looked like an enormous mis-shapened hobgoblin-thing) sailed over the left wall. It landed a few feet behind us, shaking the earth with such a mighty force that it knocked me straight to the ground. I fell straight on my chin and bit my tongue; the wind was vacuumed right out of my lungs. I was pretty sure Ashley and Leon were okay because they were already helping me to my feet and ushering me towards the door a few feet away from us. As soon as Leon pushed Ashley and me through the door he slammed it shut.

Oh, way to be a damn hero you idiot.

El Gigante (or Shrek, as I now liked to call him; hey, he was a giant ogre, of course he'd remind me of a non-green Shrek) stomped in the other direction, back towards the entrance, before it even registered that Ashley and I were on the other side of the large wooden-door-holder-thing. Leon must have ran away from us to keep the ogre-thing occupied.

Well, I wasn't one to shoot a man down with his back turned, but figuring this "El Gigante" wasn't a man and I certainly could care less right now, I went for it. After hiding behind a small hut for five minutes with Ashley squeezing my hand the whole time and only hearing the stupid mutant thing roar and bullets whizz through the air, I decided, _Heck, I need a definite change._ So I stood up, pulled out my gun, patted Ashley on the head, and was on my way before she could say a word.

Yeah, I was so B.A. (AKA, Bad Ass).

I kicked the door because I was still on my _Bad Ass high_, which I so did not want to come down from any time soon. But, you kiddies at home, don't do drugs. Getting high isn't good for you. Because right as I kicked down (_yes_, I actually broke the stupid thing with my God-like strength; naaaaah, it was rotted wood anyway) the door, El Gigante made it his mission to turn around and come barreling towards me.

Well at least I didn't soil my pants. That was always a good sign.

"_Brittanee!_" Leon hissed at me from the other side of the giant.

I was frozen in place, holding onto my gun for dear life and staring stupidly at the oncoming Gigante. I literally slapped myself out of my daze and zigzagged a path between the ogre's legs. Bleh, it smelled horrible. I was lucky I was still conscious.

Leon began shooting it in the head even as it turned around to chase me. And, knowing my luck, El Gigante just had to be, well, _effing gigantic_. Due to his weight, his footsteps ended up knocking out the boards holding the boulder in place. The large stone teetered on the edge for a few fleeting seconds before crashing down right in front of me. I skidded to a halt as the ground trembled and pain shot up my legs, causing me to wobble and crash backwards onto my ass with an unladylike, "Oof!"

By now my heart was in my stomach and I couldn't breathe. I could smell El Gigante's awful stench and I just about gagged. The pain in my legs soon subsided but I still couldn't get up. I was shocked, on the verge of throwing up, and a massive monster was about to eat me. And, of course, it took more time for Leon to get to me because he had to take his time squeezing through the narrow passage that the rock and the edge of the wall made.

But just as a meaty fist was about to grab me (oh _gawd_, I screamed bloody murder), it stopped right above my head. Its hand was so close to my face that I could see and smell the dirt and blood caked to the yellowish gray skin.

"HOLY CRAP!!!! HELLLP!!!"

"Hey! You giant blob! Come get me!"

Oh my dear, Ashley was taunting the stupid thing and…throwing rocks at it! Well at least I wasn't dead. Yet. If I pulled any more stupid stunts like this I soon would be.

El Gigante turned around stupidly, just in time for a rock to hit him square in the eye. Obviously he wasn't happy about this because he snarled at Ashley and began stomping his way to her. I was practically hopping on the ground from the strength of his footsteps. Ashley let out a loud, frantic shriek before, hopefully, darting off. Leon's blurry face soon appeared over my aching head and pulled me to my feet. I wobbled a bit but soon found my footing just in time for Leon to give me a dirty look and run off to save Ashley.

Dammit!

Oh geez, this was not good. Now it was my turn to help distract the stupid ogre. Here goes.

"HEY UGLY!" I screamed, shooting at Gigante's head as he was about to smash in the wooden door holder. Ashley would have been dead if she was on the other side. The mutant monster thing stared at me dumbly. Leon took this momentary lull as an advantage and emptied his TMP into the ogre's back but for some reason it didn't really pay heed to the pain. "I saw your momma last night; sure wasn't a pretty thing."

Basically, after I said that, two things happened. One, El Gigante had a fit and forgot all about little old Ashley. He tromped his way over to me, but fortunately I was a pretty fast runner and zipped between the rock and the wall before he was even within three feet of me. And whilst doing this, I wondered, _why the hell wasn't he dead yet?!_ This troll must be a lot harder to kill in real life (if this could even be dubbed that) than in the game. Second, the troll got a wee bit smarter and decided that, hey, this rock is big; I'm big, so let's pick it up! And I definitely knew where this was going. He wanted to play bowling; the boulder was his ball, and I was the pin that determined if he got a spare or not. Yippee. All I wanted to do was curl up and die.

"Leon, you better help me!" I yelled as the giant bent down to grab the boulder. Thankfully the higher-ups out there, somewhere, heard my plea and actually chose to aid me this once. Leon, the wonderful little agent, threw a grenade (yes, a damn grenade) and it exploded right next to El Gigante's head. Apparently that was all she wrote because the troll dropped like a log, dead.

The only thing left after the disintegration process was a pile of coins and the lonely, unused boulder.

__________

"I can't believe you, Brittanee," Leon yelled. "How could you endanger Ashley and _yourself_ by running head on into danger like that? What were you thinking?"

I bit my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. We had just found the old key and were finally able to escape the long narrow path where I almost got Ashley and I killed. Light drizzle washed away the dirt and grime stuck to my clothes and skin. Hopefully it didn't stop anytime soon, I didn't want my audience to witness me cry. My audience? Ashley and the merchant. Although Ashley was being thoughtful and turned away from Leon and I with her head bent low. But that was just because she was scolded first for the cabin incident (where she handled grenades like a pro or so I was told) and then for whipping rocks at the now dead El Gigante. The merchant was just staring at me with his weird red eyes. It was disconcerting, to tell you the truth, and I had half the mind to call him out on it. But I kept my mouth shut because Leon would have probably reprimanded me for being rude.

"I was just trying to help," I offered weakly, feeling tears prickle my eyes and my ears get hot and tingly.

Leon sighed and ran a gloved hand down his face. "I know, Brittanee, I know. But please, _please_ don't pull something that stupid again, okay? For me?"

"Anything for you Leon. I'm sorry." I tried giving him a small smile but it came out as a horrible grimace.

"Hey, at least she actually hit the stupid thing in the head with a bullet this time," Ashley butted in. "This is cause for a celebration: Brittanee finally knows how to aim correctly!"

I huffed and Leon chuckled softly. "Thanks, Ashley. A lot."

She smiled at the both of us. "No problem."

Even though Ashley made Leon and I both feel better, I still felt like shit. Seriously, what was I thinking? What was I going to accomplish by kicking down a door with my gun ablazin'?! Nothing except getting myself hurt or killed. I should have left the killing to Leon, but of course I didn't. No wonder why Leon was so pissed. Gawd, hopefully I was more useful with my gun in the future and not running around trying to get maimed.

So when Ashley and Leon moved ahead after dealing with the merchant, I let the tears finally fall.

__________

The rain had stopped, leaving the night sky milky with dark storm clouds. I rubbed my puffy eyes to get rid of the redness to the best of my ability, but I knew if Leon or Ashley decided to stare at my face long enough they would have seen traces of redness and recognized the signs indicating that I was crying.

The sound of moving gears screeched through my ears and gave me a full-blown headache. Great, not only did I emotionally hurt from crying, but now my head physically hurt from a damn headache. And oh, not to mention my body being sore from the encounter with big-boned El Gigante.

As the three of us gaped at the large, looming presence of the gondola, I couldn't help but think how rickety and dangerous it actually was. "It looks like a blind person made this thing out of a huge pile of rust," I announced, my voice hitching midway through my statement. This caught Leon's attention and he gave me a sorrowful look before rubbing my back reassuringly.

"It's okay," he whispered in my ear, "don't beat yourself up about it."

Ashley furrowed her brow as she watched our exchange carefully. "Yes, what's done is done. We're all in one piece and I got to throw rocks at a giant's head."

Leon guffawed. "You won't shoot a gun, but you'll chuck rocks and grenades."

"Yeah," she frowned, "about that…can I have a gun?"

The agent stopped laughing immediately and scowled. "Not again."

"Hey!" Ashley yelled at him, her arms wide. "You're the one who brought it up! If Brittanee gets to handle a gun, I want one too!"

"You changed you mind?" I asked with my eyes wide, stunned.

She puffed out air and stuck up her nose. "I…yes, yes I did."

"Just think about it some more, Ashley," Leon proposed. "And we'll see."

"Fine," she grumbled before stomping towards the lift.

As soon as we situated ourselves in one of the moving cars, Leon immediately shoved Ashley and me behind him. "There are villagers along for the ride."

Just as he said this, an axe whirred above our heads and clanked against the metal bar behind us. I let out a shrill shriek and Ashley tightened her hold on me. Leon quickly shouldered his rifle and began picking off the villagers one by one. I even got a few hits in myself with my own gun, even though it was hard for me to see in the dark. Even Ashley participated in the merry-making by hurling the leftover rocks in her pockets at villagers' heads.

But our merry-making didn't last for long. Someone yelled an incoherent string of Spanish words before leaping onto the top of our cable car. All three of us yelled out and groped for something to steady ourselves with as the car bobbed form side to side. There was a damn villager trying to cut the cable that connected our car to the lift! And it didn't help that we had other Ganado throwing sharp objects at us to worry about it, either.

So when Ashley started pulling on the dirty villager's pant leg, Leon and I went back to shooting. "Get. Off. Get off! GET OFF!" I looked behind me just in time to see the man slide off the roof of the car and for Leon to shout my name. I whipped back around to witness an axe flying straight for my face, and with my luck Leon was reloading and couldn't shoot it.

"Ah!" I screamed and ducked down, hearing Ashley scramble to the bottom of the car as well. We both remained on the floor as Leon finished the rest of the enemies off. Ashley's eyes were wide and I gave her a questioning look.

"That axe hit the villager in the face as he was falling."

"What a sudden demise," I snorted, "at least it didn't hit you."

The President's daughter breathed out a sigh of relief. "Yeah."

Before I could say anything else though, there was another jerk, which sent my sliding across the cable car. I flipped over the side and grabbed the railing just in time as I smacked against the side, yelping out in pain as my arms snapped from the sudden weight.

Tears flooded from my eyes because I deathly wanted to look down but I knew I couldn't. If I did, I would have seriously freaked out and probably would have let go and then fell to my rather quick, albeit painful, death.

"Oh my God! Leon!" I heard Ashley shout from the other side of the car. "Help!"

"Helphelphelphelp," I kept repeating loudly, straining to hold my grip. I swore if I made it out of here alive, I was going to need serious psychiatric help. I really couldn't afford to break down, but I wanted to, I really _really_ wanted to. Because hanging off the side of an unstable gondola? Yeah, it was definitely not good for your mental health.

"It's okay, it's okay," Leon repeated nervously as he and Ashley frantically pulled me up from under my armpits. It sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than he was me.

As soon as I was safely back inside the car, I suddenly collapsed into the blonde man, weak and scared. "Everything's going to be fine," Leon cooed, running his hand through my damp hair soothingly.

"Hopefully," Ashley breathed out.

"Ashley," Leon hissed warningly.

"That was horrible," I whimpered.

"I know," he patted my back.

"What's taking so long?" I asked, sniffling and trying my hardest to stifle my onslaught of tears. I noticed that we were circling around again. Obviously we were going for another round on the gondola.

The agent sighed and the President's daughter leaned against the railing with her head on her crossed arms. "We're relaxing."

Leon let me sob into his chest for the rest of the ride.

__________

After we exited the lift, I paused and took in a deep breath as a cool wind blew through my hair. I quivered from the aftershocks of what had just taken place, but I told myself that I was still alive and kicking, and that seemed to help relieve the constant trembling.

We checked our weapons and supplies before traveling down the stairs. Leon ignored the tunnel with the three windows shining with light and I didn't say a word about it. I really wasn't in the mood for dynamite right now anyway. And if Leon didn't feel like the tunnel was important, then who was I to say otherwise?

The merchant greeted us as we bounded down the last stairwell. "Ah, welcome!"

"Oh, this is utterly ridiculous!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. Upon realizing that everyone was staring at me, I blushed and found a very interesting speck of dirt on the ground to observe intently. I seriously wanted to figure out how this stupid foreign man ended up in our exact location without actually _moving_. This whole ordeal with him was aggravating me; what did the merchant have, anyway? A damn magical flying bicycle or what?!

"I want a gun," Ashley demanded. Thank goodness for the President's daughter, now that the attention was ripped away from me, I could breathe properly.

A look of pure torment flashed across Leon's face. I didn't know what he found wrong in Ashley and I using a gun, but he really needed to get over it. He seriously needed all the help he could get, and if that help came in the form of two teenage girls wielding pistols, then hey, he should take what he can get.

"Are you-"

"Yes, I'm sure!" Ashley shrieked, interrupting Leon before he could even finish his sentence. "I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't positive about my decision."

"Ah, the older one wants a gun too?" The merchant pried, fiddling around in the backpack on the ground next to him. "I happen ta have another Punisher for the young lass, if she's interested."

Whoa whoa whoa, when did Mister Merchant Man Extraordinaire carry the same weapon in bulk? This was new. But hey, I wasn't complaining. Now Ashley and I both could kick butt alongside Leon. We'll be like the Charlie's Angels, but with one male and two girls instead of just three grown women. We'd totally make history!

Ashley slapped Leon's hand away when he reached for the gun the merchant was holding. She smiled at the cloaked man and held her hand out, waiting. "I'm very interested, sir."

Said cloaked man chuckled before gently laying the gun in Ashley's outstretched hands and giving her a free box of ammo. Her eyes were twinkling as Leon reluctantly taught her how to shoot, reload, and switch the safety on and off.

"Leon, you should be glad we're helping you!"

"Yeah, I'm not about to sit back like a little damsel in distress while you do most of the work," I affirmed, agreeing with Ashley.

"Aye, Stranguh, listen to 'em. Take all the help you can get."

"I am grateful, don't get me wrong, girls," Leon started. "It's just…you two shouldn't have to deal with this at such a young age."

"Deal with what? Corruption? Greed? Terrorists? Murder?" Ashley asked, tilting her head slightly, confused.

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "I deal with that every day."

Ashley jammed her gun in between her belt and her skirt before she continued. "Same here."

Leon closed his eyes, shaking his head softly. "That's not what I meant…but whatever. If you two are willing to help, who am I to refuse you?"

Ashley and I grinned victoriously at each other as Leon finished his business with Mister Merchant Man Extraordinaire. When the agent was done, we set off to continue our little mission of "Get the Hell Outta Dodge".

The tall, heavy doors slammed shut behind us, making both myself and Ashley jump. Leon chuckled faintly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh heh, sorry girls."

The first thing I noticed was the tall, intimidating castle standing ominously erect in the far distance. The only illumination offered was from the castle, and it did little to help any of us see. So basically, it was pitch dark all around us. Luckily, Leon had his trusty built-in flashlight on his utility belt and we were able to walk (cautiously) with a small ray of light guiding us.

We stopped our trek when a dark metal building obstructed our path. Of course, I knew exactly what it was. Chief Mendez was inside the warehouse waiting for Leon so he could try (and fail) to kill him. Speaking of the agent, he had his hand on the metal door handle and his pistol at the ready. I could see the look of trepidation splashed across his face.

"Something isn't right."

"You bet it isn't," Ashley scoffed, "this warehouse looks foreboding." She rolled her eyes. "Of course."

"Everything here looks foreboding," I stated, crossing my arms.

"Hah," Leon deadpanned. "Now go hide, you two."

When Leon disappeared into the sinister-looking warehouse, both of us were left blind without lighting. Of course, this meant we had to do some groping to find a suitable hiding place, which happened to be a small alcove surrounded by musty boxes. Once we were situated (Ashley leaning against one wall of boxes with her legs crossed whilst I did the same on the opposite wall), we patiently waited.

For about two minutes.

We both ended up smacking our heads against each other's when a sudden loud blast echoed from the building in front of us. Wow, we must have really jumped to hit each other like that.

"Owwww…," I moaned, rubbing my aching skull.

"Ugh," Ashley complained, "you have a solid head on your shoulders."

I laughed. "So do you."

"I hope Leon is doing okay," I frowned, "that was a pretty nasty blast…"

"I…I'm sure he'll be fine."

I hugged my knees to my chest, yearning for my emo thoughts involving Leon dying to vanish. If anything, I needed to do something or talk about anything to get my mind off of what was now happening between Leon and Mendez. Hopefully the monster was already half-dead.

"So…," Ashley trailed off, "what's your favorite color?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her obvious plan of distracting each other from the gunshots echoing in the background.

"Dark blue. You?"

"Orange."

We both looked at our shirts and laughed. "Nice," I brushed my bangs from my face, "what's your favorite food?"

Our stomachs growled loudly at the mention of food. "Ugh," the older girl moaned. "I'm starving. Pizza, like any normal American."

I frowned, unhappy with my empty tummy. "Same here. I say we go to an All You Can Eat Buffet once we bust ourselves out of this mess. I can probably scarf down an entire restaurant's worth of food right about now."

"Yes please."

Ten minutes later found Ashley and I still talking about food. I didn't blame either of us, though. Talking about eating definitely made the starvation more endurable. Heck, people all around the world starved every day. I was pretty sure I could handle it for another day or so.

Another loud crash sent us in a tizzy. Ashley hopped on top of me, my chest was being squished into the ground (which hurt like a bitch), and neither of us made a sound. We didn't even take the chance to breathe.

"Ashley, Brittanee. It's just me."

We scrambled out of our little hidey-hole at the sound of Leon's hoarse voice. Once we got to the battered agent, we smothered him in hugs and phrases such as, "I'm so glad you're alive" or "Thank goodness you're okay". But when he flinched after we squeezed him a little too hard, I knew he had took one hell of a beating. I took it upon myself to inspect him more closely, and it seemed like Ashley had the exact same idea as well.

Angry red marks covered his throat and a long diagonal scratch marked his forehead. I frowned at the four bloody gashes on both of his arms. His hair was not only caked with blood, but also brain matter and guts. Eyuck.

"Leon, you look like complete shit."

"Oh, how I love your subtle nature, Brittanee," Leon droned as he stood patiently. He was actually being a very good boy for Ashley and I. Not only was he letting us inspect his wounds, but he was also granting us silent permission to poke and prod him. We weren't trying to torture him, we were just figuring out what injury hurt the most. Turned out that the gash on the side of his left leg (that we hadn't noticed before) was the worst of it.

"Well, it's true," Ashley agreed, "you look like you just took a violent and wild ride through a blender."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"But," the older girl rushed, "thanks for going through all of this to save us. We really do appreciate what you're doing, don't we, Brittanee?"

"Oh, of course we do!" I winked up at the blonde man from my spot on the ground.

I was kneeling, scrutinizing the gash on his leg more closely. Before I did any nursing to the wound, though, I wiped away the dried blood and dirt. After I plucked the can of healing spray off of Leon's utility belt, I shook it and sprayed it directly on the gash. He hissed at the obvious sting and his leg twitched, which for some odd reason I thought was rather hilarious.

But I had manners so I kept to laughing internally instead of externally. The poor man was already injured on the outside, I didn't have to go and injure his pride as well. When the gash sizzled and bubbled over, forming new skin, I moved to the next cut. I repeated this procedure (with Ashley directing me to new-observed injuries along the way) until Leon looked as good as new. Except his hair. His hair still looked like crap. But oh well.

"There, now you look like your hunky-self," I blurted out before I actually knew what I was saying.

I took a few seconds for that last statement to finally wash over me.

…

Oh Sweet Merciful Jesus! Did I always have to embarrass myself?!

Leon towered above me in all his sexy glory and was _grinning_. Gah, the man knew he was absolutely gorgeous and took pleasure in seeing me blush and make an utter fool out of myself!

_Good going, douche brain._

"Thanks," he chuckled, his voice husky and low.

GAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was pretty sure I almost fainted, and that Ashley was fanning herself with her hand at this very moment. If I started drooling, it wasn't my fault. It was Leon's. And if I stopped breathing anytime soon, I'd also blame my death on him as well. But, _oh_, death by ogling a very yummy-licious, scrumptious blonde man? _What a way to go._

"I can't believe I was just nursed back to health by girls," Mister I'm-Totally-Ripped-and-Hawt stated.

"Yeah, but we're _preeeeetttty_ girls," I sing-songed as I twirled around him. I stopped behind Ashley and hugged her from behind. We both struck a supa-awesome-totally-amazing pose and smirked as sexily as we could.

Leon eyed Ashley for a few moments, and then floored me with an intense stare-down. I almost gasped, but stifled it before it escaped my mouth. No way was he going to get more energy to fuel his little I'm-hot-and-I-know-it ego-fire. So when I kept my eyes locked with his for longer than I thought I was capable of, he was the one to look away. I did a happy dance inside my head. I won, he lost. Go me.

"Indeed," he finally said.

If the heat from Ashley's blush radiated onto my skin, I couldn't feel it.

Because I was flushing just as hard.

* * *

**_Heh heh. ;D_**


	5. Chapter Four: Gotta Love the Inner Self

_Ooooo, sorry about the long wait! I've been busy lately and all that jazz. BLAHBLAHBLAH. I'm sure you don't wanna hear all that crap. So, yeah, Imma skip that junk. But hey, look on the bright side! This chapter is even LONGER than the other ones! How wicked is that? Pretty wicked, if I do say so myself. LOL. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, favs, alerts, and hits on this story! I'm really having fun rewriting this and making it enjoyable!_

_WOO I LOVE REVIEWS!!!!!_

**Chaos-and-Insanity:** _Thanks! I'm so glad you like the story! And sure, call me Blue! I don't mind! :) _**MysticGohan88:** _Thanks, I'm trying to give Ashley a personality I think she would have, instead of the whole HELLLLLLLP thing going on. Lol. And I'm not real sure if I'll ever make another self-insert fic for Resident Evil, because it's been a long time since I've played all the other games. But if I ever do, I'll let you know and we can set something up! _**finalfantacyjoe:** _I'm really glad you like this! I actually planned on giving Ashley a gun in this remake, so, woo! Go Ashley and her bad self! :D Thanks for the review! _**Natureboy3:** _Awww, I smiled so much while reading your review! It really made me happy! Here's the update (oooo and it's long, too!) and about the whole Luis thing: I'm not entirely sure what I wanna do with him yet. I sorta have an ending planned out and it involves him dying...but ehhh. I really don't have any bright ideas to keep him alive. So if you got any good ones, whip 'em my way! :D _**xwittychickx:** _AHHHH! Thank you! Your review made me happy too! :) Here's some more!_

_I really want to thank all of my reviewers, seriously. Your reviews are so sweet and amazing, they really make my day. Keep them coming!_

**Disclaimer:** _FASHION, put it all on me! Don't you wanna see these clothes on me? Seeing as how I'm belting out Lady Gaga songs, it's pretty much obvious that I'm lame and don't own anything. GO LADY GAGA. AND TOKIO HOTEL, WOO!_

**

* * *

Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**

**Chapter Four – Gotta Love the Inner Self**

After Ashley scanned the glass eye (she insisted; I touched it earlier and the gooey, cold glass feel to the fake eye weirded me out a little) on the retina scanner, the large double doors unlocked with a _click_ and we were on our way.

Hah, take that you stinking, stupid village! Another obstacle easily obliterated!

Once we were on the other side, I noticed two things: the luminous, soaring castle in the distance, and a bunch of villagers with various weapons standing guard on the road ahead of us. Obviously they hadn't seen us yet or they would have shouted in Spanish and started running towards us like crazy hippies trying to rush their groovy sixties love van to a "fifty-percent off all bell bottoms" sale.

No offense to the hippies. You go, hippies! Snatch up those half-marked jeans! Power to the people! Peace and Love! Bras are for-

"That castle is foreboding."

Ashley's little statement knocked me out of my crazed, tripped-up trance. Thank goodness for that because I was starting to scare myself with the onslaught of hippie thoughts. Especially that last one about bras. I definitely did _not_ want to know where I was going with that.

"Ashley," Leon sighed heavily, "you think _everything_ is foreboding."

"Arcane is more like it," I offered.

"Or peculiar?"

"Idiosyncratic, perhaps?"

"Okay, okay," Leon shook his head, "I get it, girls. Really. The castle is creepy."

"And I think _everything_ is foreboding because everything _is_. I haven't been wrong once, have I?" Ashley crossed her arms with a huff. "I think not."

"Fine, fine," the agent said absentmindedly as he took out his rifle.

The villagers up ahead were dead before I could even blink twice.

"Damn," I whistled, "did I mention that you were good?"

But Leon didn't answer because right at that moment a truck came barreling down the road straight for us. Ashley and I both let out a little squeak as it honked twice while Leon just shot the driver right in the head without blinking. And with the help of Ashley and I (even though Ashley did have trouble with the powerful backfire after she had shot her gun; hah, it wasn't just me who was a wimp!), all three of us were able to knock the truck off balance and send it crashing into the stone wall a few feet in front of us. We all shot down like rockets simultaneously when large rocks ricocheted off the smoking truck and sailed near our heads.

Geez, could things get any worse?

Oh, yeah. They definitely could.

Because I forgot one small detail: somehow, miraculously, some villagers survived the crash and shimmied out of the back of the truck that was now lying on its side.

"_Allí está!_"

Well, I won't get into much detail, but we all easily decimated the male villagers. I even exercised a few "Brittanee Kick of Doom" kicks throughout the whole ordeal as well. That made me extremely happy because Leon complimented me on my poise and strategy.

_Oh, go me._

If I could, I would have thrown a party to celebrate my awesomeness. The merchant would be invited, too. Couldn't have a party without those heavy firearms!

"You want to go in _there_?" Ashley exclaimed, bewildered. "Did you not just have the _foreboding_," she paused, emphasizing the word "foreboding" with air quotes, "conversation with me, Leon? Should we go over it one more time? That-"

"_Ashley_," Leon warned, voice low, as he reloaded his gun.

Apparently lingering around a vacant, creepy road and arguing about a damn castle defined how cool we really all were. Haven't you heard?! Standing around all day instead of moving forward to get _the hell outta here_ was the cool new trend! Everyone was doing it nowadays! It isn't hard at all. All you gotta do is round up a bunch of your home-skillets and loiter somewhere (anywhere will do, try hanging outside of an abandoned bubble factory or maybe under a bridge). You'll be cool in no time!

"Uh, is it just me, or are we just wasting time arguing about the inevitable?"

Leon sighed and Ashley pouted at me. No way, Ashley, I wasn't falling for _the look_. The look, you ask? Oh, every girl is capable of _the look_. Pout your lower lip, widen your eyes until they _pop! _(in the good, fashion-sense way, not literally), and whine (but the cute whine, not the pathetic whine). I was basically dealing with this _look_ right now because, obviously, Ashley did not want to enter that castle. Quite frankly, either did I. But you know what they say; ya gotta do what ya gotta do. No matter how much it royally sucked.

Oh _snap_, when did I get so punny? Get it? We had to go in the _castle_, and it _royally_ sucks? Castle equals royalty! Yeah?!

Uh…

Oh, gah, never mind.

"Brittanee is right," Leon nodded at me, "we need to keep moving."

_"No dejen que se escape!"_

"Looks like we got company," Leon rushed, pushing both Ashley and I onto the drawbridge in front of us. "Girls, we need to raise this bridge. See those cranks? Hurry!" We raced across the bridge whilst dodging flying projectile weapons. Yes, we were _that_ good. We were _multitasking_.

But, anyway.

Once we reached the cranks, Leon on one while Ashley and I shared the other, we focused all our energy on raising the bridge. It took a whole ton of strength to move the stupid rusty lever, and I was quite glad Ashley was helping me. How in the world did Leon move that thing by himself?!

Oh, right. His rippling muscles. Gotcha. I could have gone all poetic and made beautiful analogies about his biceps, but I'd save that for another time. Just wait for that.

I let out a huge sigh, breathing heavily, when the bridge came up and stopped with a loud _bang_. I heard many screams, which were mostly curses upon Leon, on the other side. Ashley and I were just the girls that "got away" and "would soon be captured despite the agent". Well, whatever. Those villagers could go die.

And I seriously meant that, which sorta-kinda-somewhat scared me. But honestly, I didn't exactly think it mattered anymore. If I was in danger and these villagers were the cause of it, people were gonna die. Not me or Ashley or Leon, of course. Just the crazy people intent on the murdering/kidnapping/maybe-notgonnahappen-rule the world sort of spiel. And hey, if I had to do some of the killing, then so be it. As long as I was alive, it was all good. Right?

I was shockingly at ease with this assessment. What the duce was wrong with me?

_**Maybe it's the past incidents in which you were almost killed. Kill or be killed, that's the only way to survive this horrendous mess. Go with the flow, sweetness.**_

_Thanks._

_**Don't be sarcastic.**_

_Screw you, I'm leaving._

_**Whatevs. Chat with ya later, honey.**_

Gah! Even my most inner thoughts were sarcastic!

But whatever, they were right and I needed to listen to myself more often. I was actually quite smart, just not in the "listen to myself" aspect. Perhaps I needed to pay more attention to my instincts. They were practically jumping up and down with split nerves. Not a very good sign.

Before I could immerse myself in anymore brain-aching thoughts, Leon ordered us to follow him into the large area ahead of us where there was the familiar odd glow of blue flames dancing across the stone walls.

_________

After Leon upgraded to new weapons (the Riot Gun, Sniper Rifle, and Blacktail; _yes please_), we were on our way. But let me tell you what, Leon was a sneaky fox! Before he even thought of buying new weapons, he emptied the ammo out of all of his guns and _then_ sold them. Well, I guess he wasn't being sneaky, just working with what he had. It was his ammo, so he could take it out if he wanted to. It wasn't like Mister Merch sold any to us, that rotten cheapskate.

But I still thought he was rather sly. Too bad I couldn't do that in the actual game. That would have been so awesome.

And another thing – what the heck was up with the man's magical briefcase? I say magical for two reasons. The first – Leon could run, jump, shoot, _geez_, even _skip_ whilst carrying it/whatever he does with it. Second – it just…_disappeared_. One moment it would be there and then the next it would vanish into thin air.

I guess when they said that the briefcase was known for its superior handling, they meant it.

_Superior indeed._

As soon as we entered the castle courtyard, I heard faint chanting coming from nearby. Gray stone surrounded us. No wonder why these people were crazy, I'd go nuts too if I had to stare at the same color all day. Geez.

_"Muere, muere, muere…"_

"What the hell is that chanting all about?" Leon questioned, looking at me.

I frowned and took a deep breath before answering. "Die, die, die…"

Ashley stared at me, her eyes wide, looking rather upset and vulnerable. "Now that's just messed up. These people are really starting to aggravate me. All I want to do is cry."

Leon gulped loudly after Ashley mentioned crying. "O-okay, Ashley, don't cry. We'll get through this together, alright? No one is going to die."

Awww, Leon didn't want to see Ashley cry. How sweet. He is just soooo adorable! Leon seriously made me want to _squee_ out loud and hug the living daylights out of him.

But I wasn't about to push my luck.

"Girls, stay here while I check things out," Leon ordered before disappearing around the corner. We stood there, waiting, with our arms crossed for a few minutes until there were two loud rifle shots (I was becoming a mega pro at associating each distinct blast with the gun it was paired with; I really had nothing else to do while I waited). Ashley and I both jumped at the noise and hurriedly ran after the agent who was now switching from his new, awesome rifle to his equally new, awesome Blacktail.

"There were two men in black robes," Leon explained as we headed up the rounding stairwell. When we landed ourselves at the top, the agent held out his hand in a gesture that meant _wait here or else_.

I assaulted my lower lip as Leon cautiously walked out in the open area. Hopefully he noticed the numerous brown catapults surrounding us.

_"Mátelo!"_

"Holy shit!" Leon exclaimed as a monk in red robes suddenly appeared on one of the many balconies above and pointed at him. The catapults came to life and flaming boulders were launched our way. Ashley and I hugged our backs to the circular building behind us as Leon flung himself in front of us, using his body as a shield. The stone shook beneath us as the rocks of doom crashed near us, luckily a few feet away so we weren't getting hit with random chunks of rubble.

"We're gonna have to make a run for it."

Well duh, Leon. How'd you figure?

After Ashley made a snarky comment about the whole "foreboding" thing, we booked it across the open courtyard when there was a lull between soaring, flaming rocks of doom destined to squish us. Leon rushed us down a flight of stairs when another two boulders were propelled towards us.

Oh, what a nice present. I've always wanted a gigantic rock engulfed in flames to call my very own! How did these people know what I wanted?!

I rolled my eyes at my thoughts as I followed Ashley and Leon into the circular structure we were huddled against earlier. The first thing to catch my eye was the massive and ancient cannon occupying most of the small room. There were also a couple of barrels littering the floor- which Ashley stomped on- containing some boxes of handgun ammo.

"There's still some powder left in this cannon, but what would I use this for?" Leon asked himself.

Ashley tapped her chin before voicing her thoughts. "I wonder if this cannon can be lifted up."

"Yeah," I agreed, flinching as another boulder crashed near the building we were housed in. "We haven't even explored the rest of the area, this could be useful for something."

The agent nodded. "Possibly. We're just gonna have to find out. You two stay close, okay? We need to get rid of those catapults."

Ashley and I nodded our heads in agreement before following Leon back up the stairs. But instead of leading us to the right, the way we came, we turned left and stood under a makeshift shelter. It was really an arch made out of…guess what?! Gray stone! But, whatevs, this was the only place where the freaky boulders of perpetual pain couldn't wreak their horrible havoc onto us. For now, we were pretty safe.

There was some heavy breathing echoing against the vast walls of stone, and it sounded like it was coming from above us. I craned my neck up, spying on a monk in red robes staring down at us like the creeper he was.

"Hey, you creep!" I yelled. Leon and Ashley gave me incredulous looks before following my stare. The red-robed monk looked down at us and his goat mask-thing fell of his head and smashed into tiny little pieces near my feet. I yelped and jumped away as small fragments of porcelain scattered around me.

"Ohhhh, that sucks for him," Ashley commented snippily. "Did you hear me, old man?!" She looked up and shook a fist in the monk's direction. He looked utterly confused and heartbroken at the loss of his beloved mask-hat-thinga-mabob.

Leon sighed heavily and shook his head before he shot the poor dejected monk dead. "Stop messing with those things, you two."

"Fine," Ashley and I grunted in unison. Which, mind you, was sort of creepy.

"Hey," Ashley caught Leon's attention, "maybe you should shoot that red barrel up there!" Leon gave her a hard, level stare before shooting the barrel. It exploded above our heads and destroyed the catapult and the monk operating it. "See?" Ashley asked rhetorically. "I knew that big tin can was placed there for a reason!"

Leon grunted. "Well at least that's one less rock that's going to be shot at us."

I nodded my head in agreement before saying, "We should go back the way we came and check if there are anymore barrels we can shoot."

"Good idea," the agent stated before running back out into the open courtyard. Two shots later and the entire castle courtyard was dead silent.

Ashley and I walked up to Leon as he was reloading and organizing his magical briefcase. When he was done, the briefcase vanished into thin air.

"Now that's just freaky," I thought out loud.

A small, bewildered sound slipped from the President's daughter's mouth. "Totally."

Leon looked up at us then and smiled, flashing us a mouthful of perfectly straight, pearly white teeth.

I about fainted. Ashley visibly swooned. Very dramatically, I might add. I give the girl props for it, though. She pulled it off pretty well.

"Ready to go, girls?" he asked as he stood up from his bending position. Leon stretched his arms and legs before readying his gun, his muscles twitching and flexing under his extremely tight shirt (which pretty much looked like it was painted on: cue drool session).

"Uh…yeah, sure. Just do that again," I murmured dreamily.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and smirked. "Do what again?"

GAH! Why did I say that?! I really loved word vomit, really. Yeah, right. Of course Leon would know he was BEAUTIFUL!!! That cocky little-

"Leon, look!" Ashley yelled, tugging on his well-toned, muscle-y arm.

_SHUT UP!!!_

_**You know you like it, sugar. **_

_Make myself stop!!!_

_**That's kinda hard to do. Hey, by the way, there are two monks in black robes running towards you like the crazy nut jobs they are. You should like, I don't know, maybe stop talking to yourself?**_

_Get a life._

_**That's my line, loser. I'm out. Have fun.**_

I mentally slapped myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was slammed back into reality just in time to see Leon perform one of the coolest moves ever on the last monk.

The _Suplex_.

Leon flipped backwards with an odd sense of grace, followed by the snapping of the monk's neck. The agent jumped to his feet just as the zealot disintegrated into a bubbling heap of messy yellow and brown gunk. Ashley made a slight disgusted sound in the back of her throat and I just stared at Leon in amazement. Screw that gory scene, Leon just did the suplex!!

"That was so awesome, Leon. The move, not that horrible death scene. You have some serious skills in the art of breaking necks; did I ever tell you that? It's truly beautiful. It almost makes me want to cry."

Leon facepalmed and laughed while Ashley just gave me the dirtiest look. "You're a freak, did I ever tell _you _that?" she asked, hands high on her hips.

I gave her my famous death glare until she started squirming and looked away. "And did I ever tell you that you're an incredibly wet blanket?"

"Hey now," Leon scolded as he jogged over to us. "That's enough. We don't need to be fighting at a time like this. Apologize. _Now_."

I huffed and crossed my arms before I apologized to Ashley. It wasn't like I wanted to fight with the older girl. Just, _sometimes_, she grated on my nerves. If I had to blame anything for this, I would blame it all on the situation we were in and how we both met. Meeting in a locked room in a church wasn't really a good foundation to build a blossoming friendship on.

"I'm sorry too," she finally said. "I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just be friends, okay?"

I flashed her a small smile and nodded. "Okay. I'd like that a lot."

Leon smiled at us approvingly and we were finally moving forward again. He guided us up another flight of stairs that led to yet another open area. Two more catapults occupied both sides of the large door to our right.

"Well there's a lever over there," I pointed to our left. "Oh I wonder what _that _does."

"Maybe the cannon has something to do with that enormous door," Ashley offered. "I'm definitely not pushing that one open."

"And hey, guess what? I bet that the lever has something to do with the cannon!" I exclaimed loudly, waving my hands around in the air.

_"Mátelo!" _

"Shit," Leon cursed upon seeing a handful of zealots exit the tiny shack to our left.

_Wait- there weren't that many there in the game! What the heck!!!_

A sudden idea popped into my head and I decided to roll with it. "Leon, I'm going to raise that lever while you take care of these things. Watch my back!"

Before he could oppose my decision, I booked it across the small path and dodged the many hands reaching out for me. And even some sharp, pointy-looking weapons as well. A boulder sailed towards me as I ran across the small bridge to get to the crank. I took a deep breath and somersaulted forward just as the giant rock smashed against the side of the short wall where I was just at. I skidded on my knees the rest of the way and once I stopped, I hurriedly got up and pushed against the crank. The lever was rusty and hard to move, but I managed to push it forwards slowly before I had to hop backwards and duck as another boulder crashed next to me. A monk came too close to me once and was shot in the head twice seconds before he reached me. I silently thanked Leon for his amazing shooting skills.

As Leon and Ashley finished the rest of the monks off, I kept turning the lever and dodging flaming rocks to the best of my ability. After the fifth boulder hurdled towards me, a small shard of broken rock ricocheted against the wall next to me and sliced its way across my lower arm. I cried out in pain but kept turning the crank despite the stinging in my left arm. And before I knew it, Leon had obliterated both catapults.

Ashley ran over to me just as the cannon halted to a stop. "Geez, Brittanee, are you okay?"

I hugged my left arm to my body and bit my lower lip. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Leon moved towards me and grabbed my arm. "That was a really stupid move you just pulled."

"Well, I had to distract those monks with the catapults somehow."

"True," he stated harshly, spraying a can of First-Aid on my cut. I flinched and stared as new, pinkish skin formed and mended together over the cut. I felt my skin being pulled over the fresh wound and my stomach tumbled and flip-flopped like wet clothes in a dryer.

"Don't get mad at me, Leon," I said lowly. "You know that you wouldn't have been able to kill all of those zealot things _and_ watch the catapults at the same time. I created a diversion so you could do your job."

The agent smiled at me but his eyes were still frowning. You know what they say, the eyes are the true windows to your soul. Or, in this case, just your feelings. But whatever.

"It just feels like you're doing my job for me."

"Pfffft," I rolled my eyes, "I'm not the one with government training. So quit your whining and get us out of here."

_________

After watching Leon blast away the door with the medieval-looking cannon, Ashley and I followed him through the now open pathway to meet the merchant. As Leon did his business, Ashley started talking to me.

"You know I didn't mean what I said back there, right? About you being a freak?"

"Of course, we're both just upset," I said. "And you're not a wet blanket, either."

She let a sigh of relief. "Okay. I just don't want to fight anymore, you know? Especially here. We all have to stick together."

"Right," I agreed.

Well, I was glad that that finally blew over. If Ashley and I quit fighting and just worked together with Leon, things would go a lot smoother. After all, we really didn't have anything to fight about. She actually wasn't as annoying as I thought she was. In the game she was whiney and incompetent, but now, in real life (or whatever _this_ is), Ashley was sarcastic, funny, and enjoyable company. Heck, she was even using a gun now. I totally wished that she could do that in the game.

"Girls, let's keep moving," Leon said, motioning us towards the rusty orange door ahead of us.

The door slammed shut behind me as all three of us entered a small room. A silver-colored sword was mounted against a gold backdrop on the opposite wall.

_**It's not silver, you dimwit. It's platinum. It's the **__**Platinum Sword**__**.**_

_Thanks, like I hadn't already figured that out. Why don't you just go away?_

_**Stop contradicting yourself, Brittanee. If I go away, so do you. I'm you, remember?**_

_Shit._

I scrunched my nose in distaste as my inner me laughed evilly. It faded out and the room was dead quiet. Until there was crackling noises coming from Leon's pocket.

"Whoa!" I shrieked, maneuvering into a funny-looking Martial Arts stance. My leg was bent at the knee and kicked out towards Leon's right-pocketed leg and my hands were curled into fists in front of me.

"Relax, Brittanee," Leon chuckled, "it's just Hunnigan."

Hunnigan. _Riiiight._

_**Dumb ass.**_

_Go away._

_**Fine.**_

Huh. That was easy.

I mentally shook myself away from my distracting thoughts and listened to Ingrid as she spoke to Leon. Ashley and I were both hanging off of the agent's arms and staring at Hunnigan through the screen.

"Leon. Where's your current location?"

Leon scowled before answering her. "We decided to lay low in a castle but it looks like it was a bad move."

"Meaning…?" She gave him an odd look, one that said, 'What in blazes were you thinking?'.

"Well," Leon sighed heavily, "it appears that this castle's also connected with the Los Illuminados. They must not get many visitors here cuz they're giving me one hell of a welcome."

"Sounds bad," Ingrid said, frowning.

"It is bad," I added, waltzing right into conversation. "So do you have any other news?" I asked, peering into the screen.

Her frown deepened. "No, nothing as of yet. You're one hard girl to track down, which is surprising. I work for the government, you'd think this would be a walk through the park." Leon nodded at that. "Can you give me any other pertinent information? Anything at all?"

Once I was done telling Hunnigan everything about me, right down to the color of my underwear (no, really; she kinda got pissed though, after I started rambling on about my bra size…), she turned the conversation back to Leon.

"I have an idea Leon," she righted her black glasses on her face, "I need you to-"

Ingrid's face suddenly started popping in and out until it finally faded into white static fuzz.

"Well, that's definitely shitty," I deadpanned.

_**Way to be blunt.**_

_Better than sugarcoating the truth with crappy lies. Didn't I tell you to beat it? Like, multiple times?_

_**Did I ever tell you that you need Prozac?**_

_My mom did once…wait! Stop talking to me!_

_**Fine, see ya later honey-bun.**_

Geez, what was with my inner-self and the cheesy endearments?

Leon groaned, successfully bringing me back to reality yet again. "You can say that again."

"Well, that's definitely shitty," I repeated, my face still blank.

Ashley covered her mouth with the back of her hand to stifle her giggles while Leon just gave me a hard look. "Nice," he stated simply.

"Hey," I smiled, "thanks!"

"Now, go make yourself useful and get that sword over there."

I blew him a raspberry but did what I was told. As soon I dismounted the Platinum Sword, my arms flew down from the weight of it and the tip of the sword clanged against the stone floor. A tingling sensation snaked up my arms, numbing my fingers all the way to my shoulders. Without even asking, Ashley raced over and helped me carry it up the stairs (Ashley on one side and me on the other, with the sword long ways in between us) after Leon, who was eliminating the small amount of zealots on the second floor with practiced ease.

As soon as Ashley and I made it to the second floor, the door downstairs slammed open and five monks rushed in holding various weapons. All five of them swarmed up the stairs and, seeing as both Ashley and myself were just standing there with a sword in our hands, we did the first thing that came to both of our minds:

We threw the sword at the zealots.

The sword managed to slap a few in the face and three monks tumbled backwards. The whole situation sort of reminded me of bowling. Gawd, I was sick. Using living, breathing people to play bowling with a huge, heavy sword? Yeah, real healthy. The psychiatrist I see once I get back home is going to love me.

The two other monks who were still standing on stairwell looked utterly disgruntled, and didn't know what to do with themselves. Well, that was their loss. Stupid monks.

"Fire in the hole!" I yelled as I threw a grenade down at the villains. I practically threw Ashley across the room as I somersaulted (hey, I was getting good at that) after her. Leon was just staring at me, his spiffy new shotgun cocked and ready.

Once the room cleared of disturbed debris and the bubbling noise alerted us that all of the enemies had died and disintegrated, Ashley jumped up from the floor and started brushing herself off. I began fixing my hair to the best of my ability; smoothing out the back and brushing my messy bangs to the side. There was some white plaster coating my right shoulder, so I brushed that off as well. Leon gaped at me.

"You didn't destroy that sword, did you?" was all he asked.

I peered over the railing next to me to see said sword lying at the bottom of the stairs innocently. "Nah," I waved my hand at him, dismissing his anxiety, "it's all good in the hood, dawg."

"Woooow, you're cool!" Ashley snickered.

I grinned, unabashed, at her. "Yes, yes I am."

After Leon picked up the Gold Sword (Ashley and I weren't about to live through that again), he headed downstairs to set it in its rightful place. A few minutes later he was back on the second floor with us, the Platinum Sword in hand.

"They have some messed up security in this place," Ashley said upon watching Leon place the sword on the wall.

"Fosho," I agreed, jumping back as the wall slid over, revealing a small, red wooden door. Ashley eeked and stepped back, marching right into Leon's chest. I rolled my eyes at the blush on her face as I pushed the door open. The other two followed me out into another open area where two very different doors were located.

"Leon!"

Leon readied his Blacktail, swiveled around, and aimed at Luis' head in less than five seconds. I didn't even think I blinked once as he accomplished that. Dang, the man was freakin' good.

"Luis," Leon greeted as he lowered his weapon, surprise evident in his voice.

"I got something for you guys," Luis said, his accent dominant. He searched his pockets only to come out empty-handed. "What? Ah…._shit_! I must have dropped it when I was running away from them."

Ashley turned her head slightly and brought her hand to her chin. "Dropped what?"

"A drug that will stop your convulsions."

"A what that will what?!!" she screeched.

"Shhhh," Luis brought a finger to his lips, "_se__ñ__orita_. Look, I know you guys are carriers. Brittanee coughed up blood in that cabin, right?"

I grimaced as memories of pain and coughing filled up my mind. "Yeah," I said simply.

"Have either of you coughed up blood?" the Spaniard asked Leon and Ashley.

Both of them nodded their heads. Luis didn't look too happy about this. "Damn! The eggs have already hatched," he said, turning around. "We don't have much time."

Leon took a step forward, confusion written all over his face. "What in the world are you talkin' about?"

"I have to go back and get it."

"Get what?" the President's daughter asked quietly.

Luis ignored her and started walking away. Leon yelled out to him, "What are you-"

The brunette man held up a hand but didn't stop his pace. "It makes me feel better- just leave it at that."

I debated with my inner self (hey, it wasn't easy) on alerting Luis about what laid ahead for him until my side finally won. I stepped forward and yelled after the vagrant (yet hot) man just as he was about to step through the door in which we all came through.

Luis halted, pivoted, and stared at me with a small grin plastered on his face. _"__Sí, mi amante?"_

I suppressed an eye roll because, well, this might be the last time I would ever see Luis alive again. If he wanted to have his fun and flirt with me (even though I was underage!), then I wasn't going to stop him. I would let him indulge in this innocent little game and hope for the best.

"Luis?" I asked, my hands fidgeting.

He tipped his head in a gesture of respect, waiting for me to continue.

"_Déjeme ir contigo, por favor,"_ I pleaded with him, flashing him a pitiful, heartbreaking look. Gawd, if he let me go with him, I may be able to change his awful fate of death.

The Spaniard gave me a long, hard look and I could feel both Leon's and Ashley's eyes burning wholes into my back. Of course they would be confused right now; they didn't understand a word I just said.

"_Por qu__é,"_ he tilted his head to the side, still staring at me, _"hay algo mal?" _

"_Estoy preocupado de t__ú__, es todo."_

"Ah, Brittanee_, t__ú__ es la mujer joven perfecta. _Oh_, cómo deseo t__ú__ estaba disponible,"_ Luis said quickly, his accent so dominant that it was actually quite a challenge to understand him. Something about being the perfect young woman and not being available was all I got out of it. "But you are better off with Leon, sweetheart. He is better with the ladies, I'm sure."

"What?" Leon exclaimed, shocked.

"But I-"

"Brittanee, it is dangerous. Please, understand. Don't worry about me, I will be fine."

I bit my lip and fought back the tears welling in my eyes. Why wouldn't he just listen to me? Couldn't he catch on to what I was trying to tell him? That he was in effing danger?!

"Fine, then," I scoffed, hurt. "Be that way. Just be careful, okay?"

A sparkle of confusion flitted across his face before he finally gave me slight nod of his head. And, with that, he disappeared through the door in which we all came through. Hopefully it wouldn't be the last time I—or any of us—would see him.

Why oh why didn't I just stop him from going back to get those stupid, ridiculous pills?

_**Because without those pills Luis went back for, all three of you will suffer.**_

_This is the first time I actually appreciate my inner self. Thanks. For once._

_**No prob, gurlfran. **_

I felt a light pressure on my lower left arm and saw that Leon's gloved hand was sitting there comfortably.

"What was all that about?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and ignored the look Ashley was giving me. "It was nothing."

"Obviously it was something or else you wouldn't have spoken to him in _Spanish_."

"Ashley," Leon warned. "Go over there," he ordered, pointing a finger towards the large doors that led into the castle. Once she was out of earshot, he returned his attention back to me. "Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Honestly, nothing," I repeated. "I just asked to go with him, that's all."

Leon narrowed his eyes at me, and I felt like I had betrayed him or something. I mean, here Leon was busting his ass to keep Ashley and I safe, and then I just threw it all in his face by wanting to go with Luis.

But, really! It was for a good cause! Gawd, I just wish I could tell them everything without sounding like a psychotic wack-job.

"I'm sorry, Leon," I rubbed my forehead; yay, headache, "I'm just worried about him. He's out there by himself, and you have the both of us."

"He'll be fine, or he wouldn't have gone back," he said, patting my arm comfortingly. "It's gonna be alright, Brittanee."

I blew out a puff of air and followed him towards Ashley, who was tapping her foot impatiently and looking quite PO'd that Leon made her go wait for us.

_________

Leon cursed as he pulled at the castle doors. "What is up with the key obsession here?"

"I'm beginning to think that Spain has some problems," I said.

"I hate Spain!" Ashley shouted, kicking at the two large brown doors.

"So. Do. I," I stated, pausing after each word for more dramatic effect. Hey, finding keys for every little thing really sucked after awhile. It gets old. Real old. It would be totally wicked if we could just blow up doors with grenades and dynamite. That would make this whole crazy adventure so much easier.

"Ashley," Leon covered his face with his hand, "please stop attacking inanimate objects."

The older girl paused, her leg midway in the air, and scowled. "Fine. But If I could have just bashed my way through these doors by kicking them multiple times, you'll be sorry."

I facepalmed so hard that the smacking sound ricocheted against all of the stone walls surrounding us. And if effing hurt like hell. Not to mention that the nice large red mark would be marring my face for at least an hour.

"Smooth," the President's daughter commented. "Nice red mark."

"I hope your feet are mis-shapened after kicking that."

"They do kinda hurt."

"So does my face."

"Your face hurts me."

"I can say the same thing to you, too."

"Oh geez— girls, _shut up_."

"DON'T TELL US TO SHUT UP!" Ashley and I both yelled at Leon. At the same time. "Whoa, freaky," we both said in unison.

"If you two don't stop doing that, you're seriously going to freak me out."

"Okay, I think we are freaking ourselves out just as much," I said, giving Ashley a killer odd, weirded-out look.

"Ditto," she agreed. "Let's just stop while we're ahead."

And then we both just started laughing.

"You two are insane."

I wiped at my eyes and flashed Leon a dirty look. "We're just trying to make the best of this crazy-ass situation."

He rolled his eyes, but I noticed a slight curve of his lips, hinting towards a small smile.

"Hey," Ashley called to us from a small metal door off to the side. "What's in here?"

Whoa, when the heck did she get over there? That was a total ninja move she just pulled, no doubt.

Well, before Leon or I could catch up to the older blonde, she opened the door. Rather loudly, I might add. And, of course, I had to be stupid and forget that there was a monk standing near the door Ashley was peering inside of.

_"Consígala!"_

"Shit," Leon cursed, drawing his Blacktail and rushing over to Ashley, who was just standing there, shocked and immobile.

"Ashley," I yelled, "_move!_"

I must have shook her out of her startled reverie because she slammed the door shut quicker than a skipping gazelle (_**Really, Brittanee, really? A freakin' skipping gazelle? Beautiful analogies, I swear.**__ Shut. Up. __**I was complimenting you! **__Yeah right._) and ran behind Leon to stand next to me.

"I'm dumb."

"Eh," I shrugged, "I would have probably done the same thing."

"Thanks," Ashley said, cringing as the sickening crack of broken bones filled the air. A harsh cry of pain was the last thing that came out of the monk's mouth before he disintegrated on the stone ground.

"Well, the key is most likely in here somewhere, seeing as there are more of those _things_ out for our blood."

"Leon," I roll my eyes, "they aren't after our blood, they're after yours."

"Thanks," he deadpanned; walking through the door cautiously, gun at the ready.

"You know I'm just kidding abo-"

_"Mátelo!"_ one of the three zealots said as they ran out of the small building we were walking by.

"_Consiga a muchachas!"_

"This is idiotic!" I yelled as Ashley, Leon and I started shooting the black-robed monks.

The first two fell to the floor, mumbling an incoherent string of words before dying an icky, painful death. That whole disintegration process was rather intense—I mean, gross. And the last zealot's head exploded into a gory mess of yellow, red, and brain splatter, revealing a nice little ol' plaga for us.

I hated these things, really. And it didn't help that I was like, right next to it.

_I. Hate. My. Life. Period._

"Brittanee, move! _Now!_" Leon hissed from somewhere to my left.

"SHIT!" I shrieked as the plaga swiped at me with a sickening, wet slurping noise. When it swiped at me again, I did the only thing I could think of:

I cart-wheeled out of the way.

That's right—I effing _cart-wheeled_ away from the plaga-infested body just as Ashley shouted, "FLASH!" and a white explosion erupted behind me. The plaga screeched so loudly that I had to cover my ears when I finally landed on my two feet again.

Leon grabbed onto my shoulder, noticing my shaking body, as the last zealot finally died. Ashley walked up to us, hands on her hips. "Did you seriously just do an effing cart-wheel?"

"Uh…," I rubbed my forehead and waited for my breathing to even out before speaking again. A giant tentacle-plaga-icky-thing swiping at you? Yeah, not fun. It's literally almost a near-death experience. Seriously. "Yeah, I think I did."

Ashley's eyes brightened. "OMG! That was _totally wicked!_"

"Uhm," I flashed Leon an odd look, "thanks?"

"Seriously, if that was replayed in slow motion, I'd die from the awesomeness of it."

I couldn't help myself, I busted out laughing.

_**Wow, I gotta say, we're pretty damn amazing.**_

_You didn't do shit, bitch. Shut up._

_**Must I constantly repeat myself? I am you; therefore, I am capable of anything you can do. Ooo, which reminds me, are we able to do back flips?**_

_Psssht, if you're me, shouldn't you already know that answer?_

_**Go get laid.**_

_Maybe I will!_

_**Saaaweeeeet.**_

_Ugh, you're so perverted!_

_**So are you, my dear, so are you.**_

Gah! Dammit, why did I have to continually talk to myself like it was a normal everyday thing? I really needed to stop doing that; I was starting to freak myself out, not to mention Leon and Ashley. Lord only knows what they were thinking about me whenever I spaced out.

"Hey, Brittanee? Are you there?"

"Earth to Brittanee, come back from space. It's landing time."

I blinked twice before reality finally set it. Stupid mind, stupid inner self, stupid spacing out. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

Leon chuckled. "You seem to do that a lot."

I shrugged, "Ah, well. I never did say I was completely sane."

"What?" Ashley asked, confused.

My eyes widened and I coughed. "Uh…nothing."

Leon sighed and shook his head. "Let's just go."

After I annihilated two shield-wielding monks with a hand grenade (oh yeah, go me), the three of us opened a bronze-colored metal door to reveal a large storage/supply room. Oh, and of course, who could _not_ notice the gigantic, explosive red barrel right next to the door? That wasn't, you know, obvious or anything.

"What the heck's that for?" Ashley asked, pointing at said barrel.

"I'm not sure," Leon said as I eyed the chest sitting on a metal shelf on the top level of the room. "But don't get near it with that gun, Ashley. I don't need you blowing yourself up. We got enough to worry about."

The President's daughter 'harrumphed' as she followed Leon and I up the ramp to explore the upper level. As soon as Leon touched the top of the red and gold chest, I screamed.

"AHHHHH!!!"

"Oh my God!" Ashley squealed, jumping into the air like a startled kitten.

"What the hell?!" Leon shouted, hopping backwards, away from the dreaded storage box.

"I'M SORRY!!"

Ashley sent me a death glare. "You just made me jump like, ten feet in the air! What the heck is wrong with you, Brittanee?!"

I frowned as Leon clutched his heart and leaned against the metal shelf next to us. "Wow, my heart is racing. Why'd you do that?"

The agent looked at my face inquisitively, waiting for an answer. I rolled my eyes and lifted my hands in the air, exasperated. "Well," I sighed dramatically, "I had to get your attention _somehow._"

Ashley rubbed her head, "But did you have to scream so loudly? You could have just calmly stated, 'Leon, Ashley, please pay attention; I have some important news.'"

I stared at her. "First off, no one says stuff like that," I deadpanned. "Second, I just have a bad feeling."

"Obviously the key is in this box," Leon said evenly. "We need it, so throw out your bad feelings for now, Britt."

"But-"

"Shhhh," Leon shushed me and thrusted a gloved hand towards my face. He quickly opened the chest and grabbed the key before I could utter another word.

_"Allí están!"_

_Damn. It._

"Good going, retard," I yelled at Leon as a large group of chalky-white monks ran into the room.

"Shoot the barrel Leon, shoot it! SHOOT IT!!"

A bullet whizzed past my head and lodged into the side of the explosive barrel, causing a huge burst of fire to detonate inside the storage room. The poor unfortunate monks (not really) who were caught in the explosion shrieked helplessly as they flew across the room in different directions. Random, sickly-white body parts dropped to the ground like dead birds. A bloodied hand landed in my hair and a shrill wail escaped my mouth as I struggled to get it off my head.

"Ohmigawd, ohmigawd, oh sweet baby-"

"Ashley—help her."

"Fine," the older girl said as she lightly smacked the dead hand out of my precious dirty-blonde hair.

"Thanks," I breathed, relief washing over me. I would have had a heart attack if that disconnected body part started moving.

Ewwww, that just totally reminded me of the _Adam's Family_.

Once the smoke and rubble cleared, we were left in shocking silence. No, not the techno song by Benny Benassi, just…absolute quiet. But, hey, Benassi is _goooood_. So is that song. …Yeah. I'm gonna stop now while I'm ahead.

"Is there blood in my hair?" I asked, my voice slicing through the thick fog of silence like a deathly sharp, silver katana.

I could practically hear the eye-roll in Ashley's groan. "Yes, there is. And there's blood in my hair, and Leon's too. So let's party."

"Ashley," Leon chided, a hint of amusement in his reprimanding tone, "relax."

I turned towards the older girl as she crossed her arms in a loud huff. "Hey, I told you two that I had a bad feeling. But, _noooo_, the BBBB-A just had to do it his way."

"BBBB-A?" Leon questioned, flashing me an odd look.

"Big Bad Blonde Bimbo-Agent."

Ashley guffawed and the BBBB-A slapped his forehead with his hand. "Real funny, Brittanee, real funny."

"I know, right?" I gushed, giggling. "But seriously. I'm just kidding with you, Leon. You're awesome, and you know it."

He chuckled and flashed me a smile. "Yes, now hush."

_________

Not only was the main room of Salazar's castle beautiful in the game, but it was also devastatingly stunning in real life. Large, grayish, off-white columns outlined the walkway ahead of us. What looked to be carpet in the game was actually glassy smooth marble, with intricate red crisscross designs. A long decorative rug with white, blue, and red outlined diamonds ran all the way from the door up the stairwell, which was surrounded by large lit torches. The orange-yellow glow radiating from the fire bounced off the stone walls and created an eerie, earthly glow that fit the castle quite well.

Hey, Salazar might be a crazy-ass midget bent on destroying the world alongside Saddler, but _damn_ did he know how to decorate.

Since I was lame and couldn't whistle, I opted to just whoosh out a, "Oooooooo," and clap my hands excitedly at the awesome elaborateness of it all.

_**Is elaborateness even a word?**_

_Shut up before I kill you._

_**Psht. Whatevs. Go shoot yourself, will ya?**_

Screw my inner self, seriously. If I wasn't half-crazy before all of this crap hit the fan, I was definitely insane now.

Ashley twisted her head in all directions, eyes wide with delight. "I've never seen such prettiness before."

"I know, right?" I asked, eyes sparkling. "It's almost orgasm-"

"Oooookay," Leon interrupted, "let's not go there, now."

"Well why no-"

"Hah hah hahahahahaha! Haha!"

"WHAT THE EFF," I yelled, shaking my fist at the balcony above us. The bright blue drapes were closed, but that didn't really mean Salazar couldn't see me through the small slit the two heavy draperies made in the middle. I seriously debated on giving him the bird, but I decided against it. I really didn't want one of his bed buddies—AHEM— I mean, bodyguards coming after us this soon. "Why is someone always interrupting me?!"

Leon rolled his eyes and stepped forward, Ashley and I both close behind.

"Heeheeheeeeeeeehahahaaaaa!"

"What in world is that? It sounds like the Purple Teletubby, but on crack!"

"I totally agree," Ashley nodded towards me. "Creepy-ass Teletubbies. Ick."

The only thing Leon was able to do was stare at us like we both grew two heads before Salazar and his robed, clawed, animal-ick things stepped onto the balcony. It wasn't much of a grand entrance, and since I was expecting it and all, I sorta just stared.

"Ah," the midget (seriously, I couldn't even see his head over the railing) sighed, "I was…starting to wonder when you might notice us."

I proceeded to open my mouth wide, snap it shut, cover it with both of my hands and then widen my eyes until they almost popped out of my head. "It _speaks!_" I squealed shrilly.

I received odd looks from everyone in the room, including the two bodyguard-bedmates. Which, mind you, was pretty damn creepy since they had red-orange eyes and creepy claws poking out of the sleeves of their robes. A slithering, icy feeling crawled up my spine and I involuntarily shivered.

Oh, serious yucko. I didn't want to know what those two freaks were thinking as they stared at me. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

"Brittanee," Salazar said thickly, capturing my attention. "I've had the honor of hearing _so much_ about you. I feel as though we are good friends already."

Oh, HELL NO. What was up with the men in this place?!

"Dude," I grimaced, "you look like you're five. No thanks, _buddy_. I would think you would only know how to speak in broken English at this time. Or Spanish. Whichever floats your Spanish Armada, sweetness."

"Hn," Ramon rolled his creepy yellow eyes, "you are exactly the way Lord Saddler described you; sarcastic and too open-mouthed for your own good."

"And who might you be?" Leon growled angrily, stepping forward.

The Castellan directed his stare at the agent and did a small mock bow. "_Me llamo_ Ramon Salazar; the eighth Castellan of this magnificent architecture. I have been honored with the predigest power by the great Lord Saddler. I've been expecting you, my brethren."

Leon scowled. "No thanks, Bro."

"Ewwww," Ashley said, scrunching up her nose in disgust. "I am _soooo not_ a boy!"

I patted myself down, trying not to laugh. How I could laugh in a situation like this would forever be a mystery to me. "From what I can tell, I have female body parts. I ain't no bro, homie."

Even from our position below, I could still see Salazar's death glare he was sending us. Well, more like sending me, but it made me feel better if I thought he was glaring at all three of us. I felt less threatened that way. So…yeah.

"You are going to be a problem, I see," he stated, crossing his arms. "But no matter. You are nothing but, ah, what is the word I am looking for? Oh, yes. You are nothing but an annoying nuisance. I am sure Mister Scott will grow tired of you soon and just…simply hand you over to us."

A shocked look covered my face as I inhaled sharply. The Castellan grinned; that bastard _knew_ he hit the wrong (or right, it depends) nerve.

I looked over at Leon to see a very frightening, very mean look on his face, which was directed at the midget man above us. "You really need to shut the hell up, _Ramon_," Leon hissed lowly. "There's no way I'm just _handing_ anyone over to you, so keep dreaming."

Ramon flicked a piece of silver hair out of his face and let out a very haughty, 'tch'. "Whatever makes you sleep at night, Mister Kennedy."

He then turned his attention back to me, and when I didn't say a word to him, he smirked. "Mmmm…nothing to say, little girl? Good, I grow tired of this," he waved us off and began walking away. "Oh," he turned his head slightly, "and Mister Kennedy? I am afraid you are not worth a penny. Give us the girls, or die." He laughed. "We'll be waiting."

And with that, Salazar and his minions were gone.

"I hope that man rots in a furnace," Ashley commented darkly, sending me a sympathetic look.

"Don't worry, he'll be dead before the night's over," Leon assured her.

I bit my lower lip and didn't participate in Leon and Ashley's conversation about Salazar. The truth was, well, I just couldn't stop thinking about what Ramon said to me. Would Leon really become annoyed with me and just throw me to the dogs? I knew I was sarcastic and said a lot of things that I shouldn't have said, but was I really an annoying nuisance? Would Leon start hating me?

Leon must have sensed my mood because I soon found a gloved hand rubbing my shoulder soothingly. "Hey," he said gently. "Don't listen to him. I would never do that to you, got it? You're not annoying. You're just you, and I wouldn't have you any other way, so stop moping and let's get out of this place, okay?"

I breathed in deeply and gave him a small smile. "O-okay."

"That's my girl."

After our whole little touching moment, we started walking up the stairwell to get to the long hallway Salazar no doubt took. But when we got closer to the large archway, the floor shook with a mighty force and a decorated wall rose up and slammed loudly when it hit the ceiling.

Great, let the long detour to another long detour which led to the actual long detour begin.

"Well doesn't this suck," Ashley declared once she found out that there were three pieces missing to the chimera picture carved into the raised wall.

Both Leon and I nodded our agreement. "We need to find these things, and fast," the agent said.

"Ugh," I sighed, rubbing my temples. This was going to take a while.

Yay me.

* * *

_LOL. I totally gotta tell you guys something. Since I'm a loser and have no boytoy, I am going out on Valentine's Day to buy myself Tokio Hotel CDs because I love myself THAT much. Just because I don't have a sweetie on V-Day doesn't mean I can't reap the benefits of this random gift-giving holiday. So...wooo! Go out and buy something for yourself too! Let's all work together to modernize this holiday for the ones who never get gifts from pretty boys (or girls, in some cases; not really sure how many guys read this)!_

_I'm such a loser. XD_

_Oh, and yeah, if there are any mistakes, just let me know and I'll go back and fix them. Annnnnd...I'm not sure when I'll update again since I have some other stories to finish up, but hopefully I'll get the next chapter up before like, February. Oooo, that's a while away. Ah, well._


	6. Chapter Five: Stupid Freakin Freaks

_OMG. Just...O-M-G. I hate myself now for making you guys wait like, legit, almost an entire year for this next chapter! Gah, I feel horrible, but I digress. A lot has happened. College, work, life, yeah...BLEH. BUT ANYWAYS. I'm on break and back in the writing mood and yeah, you'll be getting more of this story soon. I'm so sorry for it being so short, but I kinda didn't want to wait any longer. I know most of my chapters are over like, 20 pages...but this is only, seriously, 13. But I promise the next will be waaaaay longer, and hopefully funnier. This chapter is kinda on the serious side. And if you don't get something, just ask. I have time now so I'll most likely answer any questions I get in a review. And about that, I'm sorry! I hate not answering to my reviewers, but UGH. Gawd, I'm just really sorry._

_Reviewers (that I love ohhhh so much): sarahsparkles, nautikitti, NeverGoodbyeRoxas, finalfantasyjoe, Jamaican Witch of the earth, Shigamatsu, xwittychickx, Chaos-and-Insanity, wtldr, MysticGohan88, sarah, Blackwolfleader, Natureboy3 (my undies, as of right meow, are gray and pink, with white lettering on mah behind that spell out "Pink" ;D ), SamTheShortyMan, Death's Serenade (Just so you know, you're review had me gushing with complete awesomness. And, hey, if I had an epic-Reviewer gauge, YOU would have broken it! I really, like, totally, love you right now!), Zephyr the FoxWolf, Devil Without A Cause, LightWolf, Purple Pallbearer, SexyZexy (I love your name!), xLifeOfATeenx (AHHHH NOWAI! No, really, let's be friends. I love friends. I love your review.), sheshe21 (GURL UPDATE YO STORY.), and-wesker-strikes-agian-. _

**_THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS, ALERTS, FAVS, AND WHATNOT. SERIOUSLY, IT'S TOTALLY WICKED AWESOME._** Honestly, I never thought this would happen. If you were to read my old version of this, you would cringe. I'm just so happy I rewrote it and you all love it. Like I love you all. :) -hugs-

_Okay, I know I replied to some of you, but not to all. And I am COMPLETELY, really, seriously, COMPLETELY sorry about that. Just kick my butt in the next review or PM me or something cuz I'm back for goodies now. LOL. And a lot of you are wondering about Luis. I have a plan. IDK if it'll work, but I'll see how it goes._

_And, please, if you wanted me to read one of your stories, REMIND me to do so again! I will try my damn hardest to read them because yeah, I love you all. If you have a Resident Evil self-insert story of your own, tell me about it! I wanna read it now that I have more time on my hands (Really, I've been more bored than a rock sitting out in the summer heat. And yeah, if you didn't already know, that's pretty damn boring. And hot. But yeah.)! You all just gotta keep bugging me about stuff like this. Pwease? :)_

_Disclaimer: These things are stOOpid, just sayin'. WAH, I don't own._

_**Resident Evil 4: Twisted Fate**_

_**Chapter Five – Stupid Freakin'…Freaks**_

"If prison doors in America were this pretty, everyone would wanna be all up in our jail systems."

Leon chuckled. "I have nothing to say to that."

Ashley just shrugged her shoulders and let out a tiny 'eh'. "I gotta agree with her, though. But I don't see how a giant lion with its mouth open is art."

"Hey," I pointed at the older blonde, "don't talk shit about the lion. I think it gives the door character."

"Ugly character."

"Hmph," I crossed my arms and stuck my nose up haughtily; "you just don't appreciate the complex beauty that is art."

"I don't get why you two are bickering about a damn door," Leon said, shaking his head.

"What else is there to do?" I deadpanned.

Leon blinked once. Twice.

"Exactly."

"Weirdo," Ashley commented before pushing against the ornate prison door. "Oh yippee, the door needs a key."

"Whoopdeedoo," I stated sarcastically. I rolled my eyes; of course I knew the stupid effing door was locked, but just the mere fact of having to find yet _another_ key was really starting to grate on my nerves. Kinda like a…cheese grater.

_**Hence the verb 'grate'.**_

_Hence the verb 'annoy'. As in, you are really annoying the crap out of me right now._

_**Right now?**_

_Right now. Earlier. In the shower. Talking to really cute boys. Eating green eggs and ham in a box with a fox. And probably in the very near future._

_**Damn, I'm so good. I should go pro.**_

_If you go pro, I'll end up in the loony bin. Or an insane asylum. Either way, shut the hell up._

_**Aren't a loony bin and an insane asylum the same thing?**_

_GAHHHH! JUST GO AWAY!_

_**Whateva, Honey. I'll hit ya up later for another entertaining chat.**_

_Yeah, whatever, bye. Go die in a hole or something._

_**Heh heh, sounds like fun.**_

_Gawd, I really don't wanna know what you would consider 'fun'._

My rather perverted inner-self left my head (or left to go wherever _it_ goes when _it_ isn't bugging me; probably to torment the deeper recesses of my mind, poor me) with an evil, fading chuckle and I couldn't help but wonder what Ashley and Leon thought of me when I went into one of these…_episodes _(what else am I supposed to call these encounters with myself, joyful reunions? Yeah, right.).

"Why do you always do that?" an exasperated voice exclaimed.

I blinked, willing my inner-self-induced headache to go away, and stared at Ashley with a dumbstruck look plastered on my face. It took a second for the blurriness to disappear, but that was just because I didn't have my glasses anymore. "Do what?"

"_That._" She breathed heavily, pointing at my now dark blue eyes (don't ask me why my eyes change from a light blue in darker lightning to a dark blue in brighter; sometimes it just depended on what I was wearing, but I digress). "Your eyes get all glassy and distant, like you aren't here with us." Quickly, after she noticed the weird looks both Leon and I were giving her, she added, "I mean, sure, you're here with us _physically_…but _mentally_?"

"Uh…," I mumbled, obviously lacking any intelligent thought.

_Rats. She thinks I'm crazy! I swear I'm not! I SWEAAAAAR!_

But just as Ashley was about to open her mouth again, Leon decided to butt in.

"Sometimes that happens in these types of situations. Our minds subconsciously take us away from all of the evil, almost like a distraction, because it can become too much for anyone."

Hey, thanks Leon. You just go ahead and believe that. I wasn't about to disagree with him and tell him I was freaking talking to myself. I might have to see a psychiatrist when I get home, but I didn't want to end up talking to one every day, in a cell, jacked up on meds.

No thanks, inner-self.

_So_ _stay the heck away from me for a while._

To my surprise, and utter delight, no one answered me.

"Okay," Ashley stated, still looking at me. "I guess that does happen. Sorry, Brittanee."

I shook my head and waved my hands in front of me. "Oh, don't be. It's fine." Really, seriously, it was. I mean, I'd probably ask the same thing if she was the one doing it. But, hey, maybe she was and I just didn't notice because I was too busy dealing with the exact same thing?

Sigh.

Oh well.

The older girl flashed me a small smile while Leon peered through the cutout windows in the wall to scope out the prison level below. As Ashley explored the room for anything useful, I walked over to Leon and stood silently by his side.

"I don't see much," he offered. "Just some metal bars…and…what _is_ that?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but I bit my lip, hard, instead, stifling my answer. Honestly, I couldn't just go around and answer every question that Leon asks. For one, he'd tweak or something. And two, he'd get suspicious.

_Oh, hey, Leon, I know what that is. It's this giant dude with killtastic-cutyourheadoff-sliceyourspineinhalf-Wolverine claws. Yeah, great, right? And oh, before I forget, you have to somehow kill that effing Wolverine poser so you can pull this strategically-placed lever so we can get the heck out of here._

_How do I know all of this?_

_Hah, well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you…_

AH HELL NO.

That sounded crazy even to me, and that was saying something because yeah, if you hadn't noticed, I was starting to get a little loopy. I didn't know if the situation I was in was to blame, or if it was that stupid purple shit Saddler injected into my neck.

Dammit. Eff you, Saddler. _Eff you_.

So, instead of blurting out anything useful (that could potentially keep us alive a little longer), I opted to play the "stupid and innocent" part. A dumb move? Maybe, maybe not.

I leaned further into the open stone window-thingie (I know, descriptive, huh?) and squinted. I could barely make out some dirty and torn brown pants. I leaned in a little more and saw a flash of silver.

I inhaled sharply.

One of the metal appendages _moved_.

Shit. Okay, so my heart just dropped down into my stomach. Somehow, things just got a little more real. I didn't know why I kept thinking I would just wake up and everything would be over, but I did. I should have realized this wasn't a dream the first time I got hurt (usually you wake up right before you get hurt in a dream, right?). Well, this sucked even more. At that moment I knew I couldn't just let Leon fight this thing himself. Sure, I might get scraped (or killed), cut (or killed), and/or sliced in half (or killed…wait…I'd be dead if that happened) in the process, but at least I would know I died helping.

Leon flashed me a concerned look once he heard me inhale. "What? What is it?" he asked me worriedly.

"Uh…"

Oh, oh gawd. What do I say? What do I do? I took a deep breath as I stared at Leon, searching for an answer inside of myself. Okay, I was going to help him. That was it. Yeah. Help.

I died a little inside as I lied (it's not really lying, is it? It's just not telling the whole truth…gah) to him: "I think there may be a lever down there, Leon."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. I bit my lip, willing him to end his questioning. But, you know, my luck never really was any good. And…uh, yeah. I wasn't exactly great at lying, either.

"You saw something else." He worded it as a statement, not a question, and that sort of scared me. Leon was just too damn good at what he did.

"Yes," I said as I lowered my head, ashamed. I didn't really feel like I had the privilege to look at Leon's beautiful face when I was addressing him. "I saw…claws."

"So it's a person down there."

"Well," Ashley walked up to us, "what if he needs help?"

Before I could teach Ashley that _People_ plus _Claws_ does not equal _**Safe**_, Leon beat me to it. "Ashley, I don't think someone _with claws_ needs help."

"Oh," she grimaced. "Oh my."

Leon started walking towards the prison door but I flung out my right arm to stop him. I gripped his lower arm and felt his muscles tense at the skin-on-skin contact. He tilted his head to the side, his dirty blonde hair shielding his eyes from view. His gaze, I know, was focused on my hand.

"I'm coming with you," I said, stern demand laced through my voice.

His muscles tensed again as he whipped around. My hand started to drop, but Leon shackled my wrist with his own hand before it fell to my side.

"Absolutely _not_," he hissed.

I flinched at his almost-savage tone. Heck, I even saw Ashley from the corner of my eye swallow slowly as she backed away, her eyes wide. I tried pulling my hand away from him, but this only caused his grip on my wrist to tighten, almost to the point where it hurt.

"It's not safe," he added lowly. His icy blue eyes, which were piercing into my own darker blue ones, were watery and veiled over with a thin milky film. What the…?

"_I don't care,_" I spat at him, my nose wrinkling in disgust. What the hell was his problem? What was wrong with his eyes? Oh my gawd…was the parasite—

"Okay," Ashley yelped, her voice shrill with nerves. "Okay, I think that we need to—"

I tugged my arm, harder this time, trying to get away from him. Leon, whose eyes were still locked with my own, gripped my arm so tight that I could practically feel the gloveless tips of his fingers digging into my bone. I gasped and looked down, now frantically trying to extract myself from his hold.

"If you die, then I fail my mission. It's better for me to go down there myself," he stated, his other hand coming up to clench my shoulder.

I pushed against his chest with my free hand, my insides churning. I honestly didn't know what was going on; my brain had shut down and all I could register was Leon. Leon and his weird behavior. Leon and his odd eyes. Leon and his painful embrace. Leon. Leon. Leon.

"Leon," Ashley screeched, her arms flailing. "Leon, stop!"

He ignored her and I pushed against his chest as hard as I could, considering his steel-like hold on my shoulder.

"Yeah, and if you die, what does that mean for Ashley and me? What are we supposed to do then, huh? You idiot."

I was getting pissed. I was angry and _pissed off_. What the hell was going on?

"Let go of me," I struggled against him again. "Let go of me," I whimpered, "You're hurting me!"

The result was instantaneous.

Leon's eyes widened and he immediately released me. I stumbled backward, welcoming the fall as I landed on my backside. Anything. Anything to get away from him.

"What the hell?" Ashley shrieked as she rushed to my fallen form. "What the hell," she repeated, softer this time. "Holy crap! Brittanee, are you okay?"

She helped me to my feet and Leon, looking like someone had just kicked a poor, innocent and abused puppy, rushed over to me.

"Bri," he sighed helplessly, "Bri—I'm so sorry. Please…shit, Brittanee." Leon reached out to me. When I felt his fingers barely grazing my arm, I recoiled from him.

"Don't touch me," I snapped, my voice venomous. "Don't you _fucking_ touch me."

Oh god. His face. He looked so hurt that it almost pained me to look at him. But I didn't care. At that moment I. Did. Not. Care. I didn't know what came over Leon, but I was furious. And, yeah, maybe I was overreacting. Because for all I knew the parasite inside of him—inside all of us—could have caused his little outburst of unseemly rage. His eyes—they weren't normal. The way he looked at me was not normal. At all. He frightened me to the point where I couldn't even think, let alone figure out was going on. I didn't like it. Not one bit. And if I found out that his stupid, sudden explosion wasn't caused by that dumb retarded parasite, I would seriously kick his blonde ass.

I inched closer to the older girl when I noticed Leon just straight out staring at me, hugging onto her for dear life.

He reached for me again, desperation etched on his face. "Please, Britt—"

"Leon," Ashley barked, slapping his shaking hand away. "You stop that, you idiot. What the hell just happened?"

"I…I don't know. Please, Brittanee," Leon pleaded. "Please, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please, just understand."

I stared at him. I stared at Leon so hard that I thought my eyes would pop out of my head. And he stared back nervously, eyes hesitant. Poor Ashley was just watching from the sidelines, probably thinking that this fighting crap was stupid.

"And you better understand that I'm helping. Stop treating me like a baby."

My voice was harsh, but whatever. Sometimes Leon was too thickheaded for his own good. He needed to understand that I wasn't just a little kid who didn't know what the hell she was doing. I was a teenage girl with a brain, thank you very freakin' much!

"But-"

I threw him an icy glare, daring him to talk back. Gladly, he didn't.

"That's what I thought," I snapped. I walked up to him and I had to crane my head to look him in the eye since I was so close to him. I jerked on his shoulder strap and before Leon could react, the _TMP_ was in my hands. "And just for that, I'm using this just this once."

He opened his mouth to retort.

"Shut up," I ordered. "I don't care what you think right now."

Ashley started laughing and Leon was getting annoyed. Honestly, I could care less.

"I'm not treating you like a baby, Brittanee. I'm doing this for your own good, can't you understand that?"

There we go again, with the whole "understanding" thing. I felt like I was a two-year-old and Leon was my father trying to teach me how to talk.

_Oh, Bri, honey, can you __**understand**__ what I'm saying to you? Huh, baby? Can you say 'gun'? Do you __**understand**__ what that means? Well, do you?_

_No, apparently to you I'm a little baby who only goes __**googoogaga wah wah.**_ _Fuck off._

"Well can't you understand that you put all of this stress and responsibility onto yourself? If you just let me help, things could be a lot easier! But no, you have to be Mr. Macho-Look-After-Everyone Man. Listen, I know you can do most of this by yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to!"

I bit my lip and Leon sighed. Ashley crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Well I think you're both stupid," she said. "Brittanee, sometimes when you try to help, it doesn't always work out. Remember?"

Yeah yeah, El Gigante. I remember, geez. And probably a lot of other instances, but I'd rather forget about those. Of course I knew messed up a lot. But most of the time I did more good than harm! …Mostly. Gawd.

"And Leon," Ashley continued, "you need to quit the 'It's My Mission' shit, it's getting old! If Brittanee and I want to help you, damn straight you better let us help! Or have you forgotten who my father is?"

Oh SNAP. Ashley just cussed and threatened Leon in the same sentence! Oh gawd, this is better than whatever I could have conjured. Wow, Ashley, congrats. I never thought you had it in ya. Just…wow.

"Honestly, I think we all have messed up in the past," the older girl stated. "But that doesn't mean we didn't get through whatever it was in our way. I kind of screamed too much and acted like a complete and utter wimpy bimbo. But, hey, I got over it and finally came to my senses. Brittanee couldn't aim to save her life, but that didn't stop her from getting better. Leon…well, you just learned along the way that both of us girls get what we want. How else could we get these guns?" Ashley asked, pointing to the gun stuffed between her belt and skirt.

"We could have just stolen them," I pointed out.

Ashley and Leon both laughed. Good, that's what I was here for. I hated touchy-feely moments with a lot of seriousness. That just wasn't my style, man.

"The point I'm trying to make," she persisted, "is that even though we have our faults, if we all work as a team, our strengths can combine and we can beat this. We can defeat this crazy midget and we can definitely crush Saddler. We've gotten this far, we can keep going."

By this time, my jaw was practically hitting the floor. I didn't really know what Leon was doing because I opted to not look at him. But…wow! Ashley just kept getting deeper and deeper. It was definitely a surprise…and a shock. I was just so used to the cry baby Ashley I always had to deal with while playing the game. Who knew she had such a kick-ass personality?

"I love you," I quickly breathed, eyes wide. Ashley giggled and we shared a girly hug. Well, I'm glad that was over. I hated fighting with Ashley; I always thought it got the two of us nowhere. I was kinda seeing her as a sister now, and I hoped we wouldn't have any more disputes anytime soon.

Leon ran his hand through his hair and looked everywhere but at us. He tapped his foot nervously and if I knew any better, I would say he was tearing up. But, hey, that was just my opinion. Ashley went up to him and breathed his name. He nervously wrapped the older girl in his arms and they hugged for a while. I just stood there awkwardly, hoping he wouldn't try to hug me. I just wasn't ready for that right now. Not from him.

But, you know, like I said, my luck sucked. As soon as Ashley broke away from him, Leon opened his arms in my direction and waited eagerly for me to come to him.

I chewed on my lip timidly as I eyed the blonde agent. I knew it would break his heart if I refused him, but I just couldn't make myself go through the physical contact with him right now. I blinked, tears welling into watery pools in my eyes and cascading down my long lashes.

Why? Why do I always have to cry? I couldn't stand myself sometimes.

"Brittanee?"

"No," I waved my hand at him as I used my other to wipe at my eyes. I was trying so hard not to cry, but it was difficult. My ears started to hurt and my throat tickled. "Just…I _can't_," I finally sobbed. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

Leon looked troubled as Ashley comforted me. Of course she would understand, she was a female. "Just give her some time, Leon."

A lot of time.

"Here," I choked out, handing Leon the _TMP_. "I'm sure I would just kill myself with this thing, right?" I laughed at myself then. It was a dry, humorless laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

Leon grabbed the weapon out of my hand and went for my arm. I winced and flitted out of his reach. "Don't, Leon. Not right now. Just don't touch me."

"…Okay."

With his wary one word reply, I whipped around so fast that my long, choppy dirty blonde hair probably hit him in the face. I practically jogged into the next room with the flaming horses, not bothering to pick up the memo nailed to the wall. Whatever, it was about Luis anyway.

I turned to the right and almost ran smack dab into the portrait hanging on the wall. It depicted a young man holding a gun. And, lo and behold, a big ol' silver key was attached to the painting. I snatched it up and twirled around to go back.

I met Leon and Ashley in the tiny room between the prison and the room with the flaming horses. They were reading the note I bypassed earlier. Great.

Ashley's eyes lifted and met mine. I held up the key and mouthed, "Got it!" She nodded and pointed to the note.

"Here," she told me, "I'll read it out loud to you, Bri."

I nodded to her and she began reading the note about Luis Sera.

"Capture Luis Sera," Ashley quoted as she turned the page. "I have confirmation that Sera has entered the castle. Why he would return during his escape leaves me to question his motives. But we must seize this moment and capture him. We will get the other two Americans after we apprehend Sera. It appears he took some vaccines when he stole our sample. The vaccines we can do without but we must retrieve the sample for it is our life blood. I feel there is somebody else or some other group involved in this whole affair. If the sample was to get into the hands of that other entity, the world which we seek to create will not come. We must apprehend Sera as quickly as possible."

I blinked as I mulled over the information. Obviously the two Americans were Leon and Ada. But I wonder how Saddler learned of Luis entering the castle? What, did he talk to his Spanish-speaking minions on a daily basis? The thought kinda baffled me.

"What I don't understand is this talk about a second "American,"" Ashley stated, using air quotes on "American." "What do you think, Leon? Do you know who the second person is? Saddler can't be talking about me or Britt. Or else he would have said three."

"I have an inkling, yes," Leon confirmed. "But I'm not certain."

"I hope Luis drops that sample on his way back to us," I said abruptly, without even thinking.

Leon furrowed his brow. "Why? We need to destroy that."

I rolled my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at him anymore. "Because. Now they're after him, and he's only one person. If he drops it, they won't necessarily care to use so much effort to kill him. He'll be…safer."

Right. Like Luis would drop the sample. If he does, I'll freaking make out with the man. Or at least kiss him until I can't breathe anymore. Because if he dropped it, Saddler would most likely find it and would maybe leave Luis to Salazar like he will Ashley, Leon, and I. Then Luis would live and then I wouldn't feel guilty.

_If only._

"I hope he is okay, no matter how vagrant and perverted he is," Ashley chimed in.

"Me too," Leon agreed. "Anyway, we need to keep moving. Luis will find us when he finds us. No use in worrying when we have bigger fish to fry."

As soon as food was mentioned, my stomach grumbled in protest. Ugh, I was sooooo hungry. But thank the good gawd that no one heard it. That would be embarrassing.

"Uh, I have the key. It was in there," I pointed towards the horse head statues breathing fire out of their mouths. "Wonderful, isn't it?"

Ashley crinkled her nose in disgust. "Now that's just plain stupid. I hate this castle."

"Agreed," Leon grunted. "But since we have the key, let's get this over with."

* * *

The walls trembled and the floor shook as the prison door rumbled and slammed up into the ceiling. A few pieces of the stone ceiling broke away and rained down on all three of us. I whimpered and covered my head with my arms as the flying little stones flew and ricocheted against the floor. One hit me in my knee and I jumped.

"Well, _OW. _That_ hurt!_"

"One got me in the elbow," Ashley moaned.

"I got hit in the knee," I griped.

"Oh, quit complaining!"

"Hey!" both Ashley and I yelled. Leon, shocked, looked at the two of us.

"Just because you have nice warm pants on and have a sleeved shirt, Mister, does not give you the right to be all, _'Stop complaining!'_" Ashley harrumphed, stamping her foot.

"Well it's not my fault you two didn't dress for the occasion," Leon sassed back. No, seriously, he _sassed_.

"I didn't plan on getting kidnapped!' Ashley shouted, clenching her fists.

"Yeah, and I didn't plan on magically appearing here, either. Thank you very much," I added snootily.

"Okay!" Leon raised his voice as he placed his hands in the air. "That's enough! Let's stop bickering and finish this so we can go."

Ashley's eyes twinkled and her foot popped into the air. "You mean…?"

Leon sighed, defeated. "Yeah."

I fist pumped. "Alllllll right!"

"I honestly don't know why I'm doing this. I'm going to regret this."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, quit your bitchin' and let's go!" I started hopping down the stone steps.

Okay, so I honestly didn't know why I was excited to be hopping towards my death. Really. Seriously. I most likely had a death wish, but I digressed. I was just happy Leon was letting me help him for once. And, yeah, I might die, but at least I would die fighting and shooting…and maybe crying, who knows.

_Seriously, with me, I __**would**__ be crying. Wah wah._

When we finally hit the bottom of the stairwell, my hands were clammy and my forehead was lightly sweating. All I could smell was dampness and mold and charred skin and yuck. My stomach rolled like a bunch of those gray rolly polly bugs and I was breathing heavily.

Leon stepped ahead of us slowly, towards the cell. As soon as Ashley and I went to follow, he held up his hand and said, "Wait."

"Why?"

"Because, Ashley," Leon stated as he began walking again. "I'm not sure if this thing will attack or not. Just stay back."

He was walking with caution; gun out, arms tense, muscles ready for action. And here I was: arms crossed, foot tapping, gun fitting all snug in my little short shorts. Yeah, I should _probably_ whip that sucker out right now. No, really.

So I did. And Ashley, watching me, did the same.

By now Leon was near the cell door, ready to kick it down.

_Bang!_

Leon, with all of his mighty might, kicked in the cell door. It buckled and fell with a loud, ear-scratching _clang_. Both Ashley and I cringed. And I sucked in a breath and clenched my gun so hard I thought it would break as I watched Leon near the chained creature.

Dear gawd, if I survive this…if _Leon _survives this, I will kiss him as well. Yup, totally. Seriously, it's not like he _doesn't_ want it. Because he totally does. Really. Surely. Leon is so—

I was wrenched out of my thoughts when Ashley gripped my bruised arm tight. I cried out silently and tried not to flinch. It hurt, dammit. Stupid Leon and his stupid parasite and his stupid rage-freak-on-Poor-Innocent-Brittanee episode and his stupid ability to leave many bruises on my right arm.

Ashley squeezed my arm harder as Leon sauntered right up to the chained Garrador. All I could do was whimper at the pain Ashley was causing in my arm.

And, yeah, I was completely unprepared when Garrador let out a loud growl as he ripped the chains holding him out of the wall like they were just butter and he was a huge and sharp and bloody machete. His long silvery claws extended and Leon had to back-flip out of the way so they wouldn't chop his arms off.

Oh, and let's not forget to mention that the prison door up above totally just slammed shut. Yeah, like that wasn't planned or anything. Stupid freakin' castle, I hate you. Stupid freakin' Salazar, go die in your own blood and guts or something, you freak. Stupid freakin' Saddler, with your stupid freakin' wiggly-creepy-juju-freak-Brittanee-the-hell-out staff, go fling yourself into a Del Lago infested lake and cry and bitch and moan and complain as you wait helplessly for your nasty demise, you prick. Stupid freakin' Garrador, with your stupid freakin' Edward Scissorhands complex, go scratch your face, you idiot, and paint your entire head red with your own blood and cry and whine and _die_, because yeah, you're a straight up bitch. Stupid freakin'—

_"Brittanee!"_ Ashley hissed lowly, successfully ripping me away from my "Stupid Freakin'" rampage. Dang, I was on a roll, there…

My eyes widened when I saw Garrador, with his claws retracted, sniff the air and start walking straight for Ashley and me. Of course. How could I forget that the stupid thing was _blind_? All it could do was sniff and listen and charge wildly.

Leon was a few feet behind him, holding his finger to his lips, as if to say, "Shhhhhh."

But then Ashley clamped down onto my bruised and abused arm even more violently and I cried out loudly and yeah, I dropped my gun.

Garrador unsheathed his deadly talon-like-freak things with a roar and sprinted, in full charge, towards the sound.

Towards me.

Oh _shit._

_

* * *

_

**_I know I don't deserve it, but...please, review? I love you guys oh so much! And do you all think I should have a poll of whether or not Luis dies? I have an idea, but I want some input! Because, yeah, like I said before, I kinda like, love you all. :)_**


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